Journey Through LIfe

2009-07-17T15:14:00.000-07:00

Vacation Blessings

First of all, I AM BACK TO BLOGGING, having finally found time to set up a google account to enable me to get back on board. The dilemma now is: Blog, Facebook, or email????? Oy-vey!

Someone asked us the other day what we were doing in a Library on Facebook when we are on vacation? I believe it is called "building relationships"! (smile) No matter how exciting it is to "get away from it all", we always miss those we love so dearly and enjoy "living life with".

We have been so blessed on this vacation as we have returned to the roots of our marriage ... where it all began in Colorado Springs, CO. We have been able to visit our first home, reconnect with friends from three different states where we have lived during the journey of our married life, climbed mountains, backpacked and camped and, among other things, observe the miracle of arriving at the peak of a mountaintop just as the sun sat on the horizon followed by the moon rising minutes later!

The rain forecasted for the first 9 days of our trip turned out to be, at the worst, a couple hours of afternoon thunderstorms that were very easy to work around or even hike in! We got a "standard motel room" for a bargain price and were pleasantly surprised it was loaded with luxuries including a whirlpool tub! Friends have taken us into their homes for a night, fed us meals and brought joy to our hearts as we have reminesced over the memories of days gone by. Jim has been able to connect with distant cousins he has never met before and discuss/share information of family research they are all involved in plus access tons of information from libraries & museums of counties where his ancestors came from. And it looks like we are going to finish this trip with half the expense that we budgeted for it .... even less than we spent going to the Smokies last year!

God is good! He knows what we need much more than we do and I believe He takes great pleasure in blessing us in places and in ways that we never expected. Thank you, Father!

2007-04-10T14:32:00.000-07:00

EASTER WITH GRANDCHILDREN - A NEW ADVENTURE!

We were blessed to have our son and his family home for Easter ... our first Easter with a grandchild! I was so excited I went on a shopping spree for our little granddaughter ... a little of this and a little of that and I ended up with more than could fit in her basket! I know that at 21 months old she does not need much of anything ... does not even want anything ... which made it even more exciting. I actually got to buy her a pair of cute little white sandals for Easter! I love buying things for my grandchildren that I know they will use and enjoy.

The second best thing was having our son and his wife home ... still young at heart and "into" the excitement of Easter egg and basket hunts. We loved setting up a "Treasure Hunt" for them as a unique way to give them a small monetary gift towards their new washer and dryer they had to buy recently. It was so much more fun than just handing them the money. Through it we were able to recapture some of the joys of "days gone by".

Things change so much when your children grow up and leave home. I now understand what my mother meant when she would say, regarding the holidays, "It's just another day to me." The holidays do lose their "magic" when you no longer have children at home to enjoy them with and do kind of blend in with all the other days of the year. I don't know what we would do if it was not for my husband's closeknit family that usually brings all of the brothers and sisters together on the holidays.

I won't soon forget this Easter and the blessing of being able to see it, once again, through the eyes of a child. Also, it was such a blessing for us to have our son, his wife, and our granddaughter in our church on Easter Sunday morning to worship with us and, of course, to "show off" to our church family. Most of them are blessed to have their children and grandchildren always with them and they share in our joy of having our kids home ... That's what "family" is all about, whether it be your blood family or "adopted" family - sharing each others joys as well as sorrows. How truly blessed we are!

2007-01-02T18:36:00.000-08:00

REFLECTIONS ON "GROWING OLDER"

I would say there are four seasons of life: Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter. I believe I am presently in the "Fall" of my life and since "Spring" and "Summer" consisted of approximately the first 50 years of my life, I would say I am right at the beginning of the "Fall" of my life and, the Lord willing, may even live to be one hundred! (smile)

Fall is my daughter-in-law's favorite season and this season of my life is, thus far, bringing me great joy.

You know you are getting "older" when ....
* Staying up all night does not sound "fun" at all.
* You start losing your balance and falling ... usually due to carelessness and not
accepting that you are not as young and agile as you used to be.
* Your kids get upset at you for saying you are getting older
* You have grandbabies to spoil
* You stop hair doesn't grow as much, as quickly ... and may even thin out
(on your head and your legs!)
*You start getting used to gray hairs trying to make their appearance
* You start getting pimples, age spots, moles, fatty cells, etc. etc. .... all kind of
strange little "growths" on your body
* You start doing things your mother used to do that drove you crazy!!!!
*Even though you have always been a pack rat, you start getting tired of all the
"stuff" and want to get rid of it
*As you see your kids with their kids you often reflect ( and cry) about the "years
gone" by when you were the young parent caring for your "little ones" ...
* You start understanding how your parents felt when they were your age ... with
young adult children and grandbabies living far away
* Your body hurts in places you never knew there were muscles or bones that
could hurt so bad
* You become more adventuresome ... trying things you never did before, or rarely
ever did, when you were younger.
* You start thinking about preparations you need to make to make it easier on your
kids when you pass on to your heavenly reward... Hoping you will never be a
burden to them.
*You get excited that you are down to, or close to, the "single digits" in years to
retirement ...
* You are getting close to the age of those "Senior Citizen Discounts" and the
Golden Buckeye Card!!!

* ETC., ETC., ETC.....

I am enjoying "growing old" with the one I love. We have become so much like each other over the 34 years we have shared as husband and wife. We are so blessed to have children who really try to assure of us their love and try to make sure our grandbabies know who we are and get to see us as much as possible. Life is good. God has blessed us so richly throughout our lives. Wow! I wonder what He has in store for the last half of our lives?!? No matter what comes our way we will always live by our favorite motto:

"Growing old is inevitable but Growing up is optional!

Live, laugh, love, seize the moment, rejoice in the Lord and don't let today's sorrows rob tomorrow of its joys. Enjoy the "Fall" of your life!!!!

2006-12-30T17:57:00.000-08:00

JOY AT CHRISTMAS!

This was my favorite Christmas since the grandbabies were born. Having Adelaide here for her first Christmas was awesome in itself 4 years ago but having her at 4 years old and the two younger ones at 19 months and 18 months old was a true joy! They all have their own very special personalities and they all made me feel very loved even though they don't see me very often ... I felt very close to every one of them ... especially my Adelaide! I never dreamed we would have the joy of having our kids and their families both home for not only Christmas day but also Christmas Eve! I felt so blessed to have them not only attend our Christmas Eve Service but also participate in it. The grandbabies went "wild" ... frustrated that their parents were up on the platform and not sitting with them in the pew! I know it made it very difficult for them (and probably even Grandpa as the pastor ... somewhat) but I thought it was so awesome to have them there and be able to hear them sing (It's been too many years!) and Kelly play the guitar ... They were AWESOME! And my grandbabies were just as awesome in their tears and challenges they gave Aaron and I as we tried to calm them down.(HeeHee) I truly felt like a REAL grandparent!!! I'm sure our kids probably were a bit embarrassed and stressed with all the commotion but they made the service perfect for me. Then Barb volunteered to take a family portrait to "capture the night's events" ... I am so thankful for her thoughtfulness ... She knew what would make me happiest later better than I did!

At home we got a couple pictures of our three grandbabies together - a rare opportunity to be sure! And I started a new family tradition that the grandbabies get to open one gift on Christmas Eve ... possibly it will always be a book as it was this year. I don't know how often I will have the joy of having them at our house on Christmas Eve in the future but I want it to always be a good memory.

My daughter once said that there is one thing company and garbage have in common ... After three days they both stinketh! (smile) I disagree with that when it comes to my children and their families ... It takes at least 4 days! (HaHa!!!) We had a great time together the entire time and I am so thankful for that special blessing this Christmas that brought me more joy than all my gifts put together!

The other thing that has brought be greater joy this Christmas is teaching a Sunday School class on "Rediscovering The True Spirit of Christmas". We have dug into the scriptures and details of that first Christmas to such a depth that even now that my Christmas tree and decorations are put away I still feel the joy of Christmas as I think of my Savior's birth, life, resurrection ... and coming again!!! I hope others in our class have had success in reclaiming that special joy and peace that only Christ can bring to our lives as we seek Him with all of our hearts.

Tomorrow is the end of the year 2006. It has been a good year. Thank you, Lord, for all the good things you have done and all the great things you will yet do in the upcoming year. God is Good!!!!

2006-11-24T08:10:00.000-08:00

A "WANT" OR A "NEED"???

We got up at 5:00 AM this morning to head to town for the "After Thanksgiving" Sales. When my sweetie asked me if we should drive 2 cars I said "Definitely not". I have come to apoint of realizing that over half of what we have bought at these annual sales are more of a "want" than a need. You see those great bargains and think you just have to take advantage of them because you may need them "someday" or you just want them now, for such a great price! At least, that is how it has been for us.

So we jumped into the car and headed to town, amazed at how much less trafic there seemed to be this year. Could it be that others have also awakened to the "Wants bs. Needs" factor or is the economy really tight right now or are people just "burned out" by their bad experiences on this day in years gone by? We went to one store ... TOGETHER. While he waited in line for the "super bargains" tickets that were being handed out to redeem at the Courtesy Desk, I went and picked up the other items. By the time I got back, he had the tickets and we got in the checkout line. While we stood in the checkout line, we noticed the ticket line was wide open so we went and got a couple more tickets and and checked out again quite quickly. It was a nice, enjoyable event for both of us! We made a couple more QUICK stops and purchases. We could not believe how easy it was. We ate breakfast with our family at Bob Evans and still was done and headed towards home by 9:30! WOW! If it could always be that easy, I'd go every year.

Of course, it all comes back to "wants" vs. "needs". We did not pick up lots of things that were actually "wants" due to the great prices. I think our home improvements proved to be a benefit for us right now, helping us to balance the importance of our purchases so as to conserve our cash flow for our current home projects. I still remember the one year it took me at least 8 hours to make out all the rebate submissions .... It was a nightmare! This year it will take maybe 30 minutes, mostly on line! What a relief!

I guess it also comes with admittting we are getting older and, despite the fact we are both majoy packrats, we are tired of the clutter in our home and want to get rid of things and not add anything extra. It's funny to be at this stage that my Mom "drove me crazy" with when she reached it in her life. "Things" just don't seem to be as important anymore. You just want to enjoy "relationships" ... those you love ... and make things as simple as possible. I guess that is a "good thing". But it means a lot of work and determination to overcome that inner voice that often says "I might need it someday". I am realizing that 9 times out of 10 that day never comes and, if it does, that item is so much cheaper that it costs little at all to pick up.

Well, the day is wasting. I need to work some on "de-cluttering" my closets and shoe collection!

2006-10-29T18:53:00.000-08:00

WHAT IS TRUE FRIENDSHIP?

I have had many "friends" in my lifetime but can not really say I have had a true "best friend" in my entire lifetime ... till now. In my friendships I usually felt like I must do all the "pursuing", giving, "working" to make it grow and last. Friendships take time and effort to develop and grow... for both parties involved ... just like marriage does. It requires sacrifice at times to help a friend, expecting nothing in return. It requires taking time and making a conscious effort to talk, spend time together, and building trust in order to establish a true friendship.

Yes, Jim and I have been very blessed with friends across the country through our ministries in various churches but when God closes the door and we move on ... the friendships are not as "real" anymore. I believe we have many friends in our church right now ... but what is at the "heart" of our friendships? I often feel a barrier of having true friendship with any of them because we are the Pastor and wife and you certainly cannot favor one over the other in the congregation or it could cause division in the church ... at least that is how we feel.

Yet Barb Marsh has come the closest to being my "best friend" within the church. She is always "there" for me. I know that she would set aside any of her own needs to meet my own, if at all possible. But that is who "Barb" is ... to everyone. She is a very loving, compassionate, giving person. I admire her. Even when she is down and "out", hurting or sick or under insurmountable stress, she seeks to minister to others. How I pray God's richest blessings on her in return. She has visited me when I was sick and provided a meal, brought me a special treat and gift on my birthday, brought her family to help us on a home improvement project (even when she has many of her own she "can't find time for" :)) ... that is "Barb". I love her and appreciate her so much as many do because she does it for everyone, it seems! WOW!

However, last Saturday I finally realized that I have a true "best friend" in Barb Hanson. She has pursued my friendship and sought to "be there" for me in more ways than I can count. She and I can really share anything with each other and be "real" ... accepting each other's differences and uniqueness ... enjoying each other's company. Our husbands bonded first as best friends but I subconsciously "held off" from even allowing myself to bond with Barb because of ... I don't know. Past experiences and disappointments in friendships, I guess, where I seemed to always have to be the one "pursuing", giving, encouraging, etc. Last weekend I realized Barb may justly have felt that way about me. I realized I had held her "at bay" and robbed myself of the friendship I have always longed for. Well, no more! I thank God so much for bringing her my way. I hope I can bring joy, laughter, encouragement, companionship, help and strength to her as much as she brings to me. It feels so good to have a reciprocal relationship with my newfound "best friend." I kinda feel like a "schoolgirl" when I say "best friend", but that's okay. "Growing old is inevitable but growing up is optional"!!! God is good!

2006-10-07T07:14:00.000-07:00

RUNNING THE RACE

Well, my Honey ran his race in Akron and beat his last time ... I knew he would! He finished the 26.2 miles in 4 hours and 6 minutes compared to 4 hours and 32 minutes last year. At this rate of improvement, and considering he will be entering a new age bracket after Nov. 4, he might even qualify for the Boston marathon next year! That would be so COOL for him. It was a rather cold, drizzly day but he hung in there and seemed to be in great spirits when he completed it .... already looking forward to next year!

A friend of his ran too and this was his 27th marathon. His wife is not quite so excited as I am. I wonder if the novelty of being a bystander will wear off for me after lots of marathons have passed? Not that she is any less proud of her hubby (nor would I be of mine) but it is not real exciting standing on the sidelines waiting for another glimpse of him running by. I'm thankful I am not having to endure the yucky cold and drizzly weather (I can cover up with an umbrella and wear warmer clothes) and that I do not have to endure the occasional leg cramps and fatigue that must come with running that far. I cannot even begin to imagine how it feels to run in a marathon nor understand WHY someone would want to do it! It's one of those things I would smile and say, "And you PAID to do this?" What is it that inspires someone to want to run these races? I understand some do it for the monetary prize at the end ... hoping to win a cash prize. But others, like my honey, just want the joy of completing the race, and hopefully improve his own stamina and time.

WOW! I do think there has to be a great spiritual parallel here! As we run our individual "race" of life, what keeps us going? No one can run that race for us. They can cheer us on, encourage us, pray for us, love us, believe in us and try to "be there" for us to support us in any way possible - even as I do for my honey as he runs his marathons. But they cannot ever feel the depths of our own internal struggles - pain, disappointment, fatigue ... things that make our race more difficult (like the cold and drizzly weather of my honey's marathon day). They also cannot ever feel the depths of our joys as we conquer different things that we battle against which make "life" so difficult at times, when the victories are gained ... that lead to the joy of completing the race. They may be happy and excited for us, as I am for Jim, but their happiness and joy is on a different level.

As I sit here writing about this and thinking of that parallelism, it gives me a little insight into the struggle of others in their spiritual journey. I am so "into" this spiritual "race" and have come through so many of the small races with their pain, difficulties, defeats and victories along the way, that I have learned to just "keep my eyes on Jesus" and lean on Him daily as I seek Him constantly in prayer, His Word, and fellowship with other believers who "cheer me on". I get so frustrateed with others, at times, who often come to a point of feeling like giving up, not being faithful in their church attendance and fellowship with others who can support them and, worse of all, not being faithful to God by seeking Him daily in prayer and reading His Word. I have to remember that I was also "there" once in my spiritual journey. I have been running this race much longer. As a "bystander" observing them in their race, I cannot truly feel their pain and difficulties that their personal "spiritual race" is bringing their way. I can cheer them on but I cannot run their race for them. That is so hard to accept. I want so bad to pick them up and carry them. Other times I feel like smacking them and telling them to just "grow up and get with the program"! Oops! That doesn't sound very compassionate and "Christ-like", does it? It's just I know that, if they truly put Christ on the throne, things will start going better for them.

God's Word says it all:

"You were running such a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth?" (Gal.5:7)

"Come near to God and He will come near to you." (James 4:8)

" Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:12-13)

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."
(I Corinthinans 15:58)

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 5:1-2)

In Ephesians 6:10-18 we are told to put on the "full armor of God" so that we are able to "STAND". We are repeatedly urged in this passage to STAND FIRM.

AS FOR ME ...

"I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like Him in his death, and so somehow to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already attained this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained." (Philippians 3:10-16)

I WANT TO "RUN MY RACE"/"WALK MY TALK" IN SUCH A WAY, THAT, WITH PAUL, I CAN CONFIDENTLY SAY TO THOSE WHO HAVE KNOWN ME:

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." (Philippians 4:8-9)

If you think you are not as close to God as you once were, here is the question: "Who moved?"

God hasn't. He is still there with open arms ready to carry you, lead you, and help you complete this "race of life". But He will not force Himself upon you...He loves you too much to make you His mere "puppet". YOU must make the first move back to His loving arms. You may actually be doing just fine in God's eyes but are just going through a "dry spell". Our race may take us through the lush green valleys, over hills and high mountains, along the cool refreshing rivers, through the brights sunny days or the cold and dismal nights ... even through dry, arid lands called deserts. But God is always there. He promises to never leave us nor forsake us. We just have to seek Him even more fervently and not let our human emotions guide us. Stand firm on God's Word ... quoting His promises .. not wavering from the "truth" He has allowed you to traverse this "dry, arid land" because He knows you are ready for it (even though you may not realize it) ... He believes in You. One day you will return to the lush green pastures and calm, still waters.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths." (Proverbs 3:5,6)

2006-09-27T16:43:00.000-07:00

THREE DAYS AND COUNTING UNTIL HE'S OFF RUNNING AGAIN!

It is so hard to believe that my Sweetie is only three days away from running his third Marathon within one year. I am so proud of him. I never thought this would become a regular thing. I was thinking once he ran one he would be done. I mean, why would anyone want to run 26 and two-tenths miles once, let alone 3 times!?! Certainly not me. But I do love to walk and I guess if I ever got into walking 5K's etc. it might become a regular thing for me, too.

Anyways, Saturday is the day and I don't know which of us is the most excited. I must admit I get a bit nervous, knowing people die in these things all the time. And even though I know he "runs smart" using a heart monitor so as to not overtax himself, I still get concerned at times ... After all, he is over 50 now ... in fact, soon to receive those senior citizen discounts we have joked around about for so long!

Here's to my Honey that he might finish the race safely and have fun doing it!

2006-09-27T16:27:00.000-07:00

TRANSITIONS .... LEANING ON JESUS
My son and his wife are going through a big transition in their lives right now ... I think it is much bigger than any they have had thus far in their married life. I remember going through such times in our own married life ... Times of uncertainty, and yet "God's peace"; Times of sadness, and yet joy; Times of apprehension, and yet excitement ... Knowing that: "God is in control" (and wondering what on earth He is up to!:), "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me", and "All things work together for good to those who love the Lord." Having the sweet assurance that when a "door closes", we need only look for a "window" that God has prepared for us to crawl through to "new adventures".
I have not met many that really enjoy change. But change is good. It stretches us, challenges us, and improves us. It helps us develop character and lean more heavily on Jesus when we have just "gotten comfortable" working by His side.
Change in our lives is rarely easy to go through, and it is even more difficult for us to watch those we love go through it. It is so good to know I can pray God's "umbrella of protection" upon my children and know He is faithful and will provide for them, no matter what comes their way. He will carry them. He will direct them. He will hold them in the palm of His Hand! Thank you, Sweet Jesus.

2006-09-04T10:44:00.000-07:00

RUN, BABY, RUN!!!

Jim found out about a 4 mile Labor Day run in Newton Falls yesterday at church. He decided it would be good for him to get it in before his marathon the end of this month so he registered and ran it today. He came in 28th of (I believe) 95 entrants ... I know it was at least 90. His time was 30:35 and he placed for the first time in his "running career", taking 3rd place in his age division (49-54). Next year he will be in the next age division!

I know he runs just for the joy of running and his goal is just to "complete the course" each time but it is a special joy for him (and me) when he not only completes the course but has the special bonus of actually placing. He won a T-shirt advertising the race itself - "Kiwanis 17th Annual Labor Day Run" - celebrating Newton Falls' Bicentennial (1806-2006). Unfortunately we did not know about it soon enough to tell our congregation but I am sure they will be proud of their pastor placing for the first time in a race held in their home town!!

2006-08-23T04:37:00.001-07:00

MY GRANDSON'S BABY DEDICATION

We went to New York this past weekend to visit Sunshine and her family and see our grandson dedicated. It was an awesome visit, even though tense at times with two sets of grandparents there. We didn't get to go up front with the family to dedicate him ... a decision Sunshine and Aaron made for it to be just their little family ... but we got to take pictures. It was so funny watching Sunshine feed him all the way up to keep him happy. He squirmed the entire time and when the pastor put his hand on his forehead to dedicate him, Canaan leaned clear backwards. I got a picture of it and Jim was videotaping. We teased the kids afterwards that their son was "slain in the spirit" when he was dedicated and we have proof of it! (HeeHee!)

Living so far away and seeing grandbabies so little makes a grandparent very nervous that they won't know us ... love us ... know how much we love them. However, Adelaide totally wiped out all fear of that for me this weekend. When we walked in the door her eyes brightened and she ran at me with outstretched arms shouting "Grandma!!" No one could prompt a child to show such sincere, exploding joy. I am blessed. As I walked out to the car to get something shortly after, Canaan yelled a protest that I was leaving without him. Yep, no doubt about it ... I am loved. Now I need to see my little Halle to make sure she still remembers me ... It's been 2 and one-half months too long !!! Thank you, God, for grandchildren. They keep us feeling young and important.

2006-08-23T04:37:00.000-07:00

PREPARING FOR SCHOOL

I have been spending every day this week in my classroom trying to prepare for those "little darlings". The room is looking pretty good ... It better since I spent 11 hours there yesterday alone! But the organization of the new Math series materials and grant materials that have come in over the summer is overwhelming me.

The next couple days seem to demand hours of sorting, packaging, organizing, and becoming familiar with tons of new manipulatives and activities that will make learning so much more fun and effective for my students. It is a good thing I enjoy that kind of stuff .. although I don't relish having to cram it all into this week. The administration would not allow us in until one week prior to opening day. They have no idea what that means to an elementary ... especially kindergarten ... teacher.

The good news is that there are only 32 students presently enrolled for 3 Kindergarten teachers to share! Whoopie!!! The Lord knows I need a "light" year after my worst year ever last year. It will be Awesome to have such a small class to work with as I familiarize myself with the new materials. God knows my every need and continues to supply beyond my wildest dreams ... Praise His Name!!!

2006-08-09T05:47:00.000-07:00

UNITY

God must really be smiling down on the Newton Falls Church of the Nazarene this week! We are in the midst of VBS and, I must say, even though I believe there is overall unity in our church everyone seems to be displaying it (more than I have seen in a long time) this week. In fact, my husband and I have often questioned if we should have VBS because it has often been one of the greatest factors contributing to disunity (misunderstandings, criticism, hurt feelings, etc.) in our church. Actually, that is no doubt why I am the "director" this year. Too many have been hurt by criticism and conflicts in the past when they have tried to direct it. So here I am, setting myself up with a big "target" on my forehead for people to "shoot" at as I assume this role of leadership. (HeeHee!)

I like to think that I am mature enough in the Lord that His grace will be sufficient to serve as my buffer and lesson the sting of any "attack" that may come my way as a result of it. But I honestly don't think that will be an issue this year. It appears that everyone is really trying to focus on the children and letting God use them however He pleases to fulfill this week's VBS ministry. Karen Moser has been almost more of a director than me as she has worked for weeks in organizing the schedule, helping me enlist workers, and doing unending "clerical" duties that are essential to the success of any VBS. I can say truthfully that I have not seen even one 'sloucher' among the workers. When something has needed done, both prior to VBS and daily so far this week, someone is "there" to do it. I am not having to go out and beg anyone. It seems they are all so joyful in serving however needed. Whenever I start to stress out a little over the realization that I have not done something that needs done pronto, before I can barely take a step to do it, someone is there at my elbow saying "I'll take care of it!" ... and saying it with a smile!!! I am so blessed! I am enjoying this week far more than I ever dreamed possible! I pray that God will bless these people "real good" and use them in very evident ways ... where they can all see the children enjoying learning about faith and trust in God.

Ya know, I can say with all my heart that, in all our years of ministry, we have never had such a wonderful congregation. This is a church a pastor would "die" for. Sure we have our ups and downs but nothing like most churches have. There is only one thing that makes it less than "PERFECT" for US ...the distance. If we could pick up the church and all the people with it and move it closer to our home it would be perfect for sure. The older we get the harder it is to travel the miles and as the church has grown we realize they desperately need a pastor who lives in their community and can "be there" for them as they so richly deserve. But until the day God releases us, we will lean on HIs strength to keep on trying to meet their needs,, even though we feel we often fail miserably.

WEll, the day is waiting for me. I am actually looking forward to VBS every night! WOW! THIS IS A FIRST!!!!!

2006-08-02T04:59:00.000-07:00

WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND!

Sunshine, Aaron, Adelaide, and Canaan left last night for home after visiting us for a couple days. I cried like a baby and went into complete depression when they left. My honey did all he could to console me but to no avail.

I remember when our children were small and we lived out West .... Our parents were lucky to see us once, or at the most twice, a year. I realize now, even though we would try to send regular pictures, they missed watching our babies growing up. They missed watching me grow into a young adult ... a wife ... a mommy. I understand now that that is why my mom and dad were so possessive. Jim's folks never were and my mom would say it was easier for them because they had other children that lived near them ... other grandchildren to help them through the months "between" seeing us. I never could understand why my mom would cry every time we left ... I was so happy with "My Life" ... my husband, my children ... our adventures ... that I could not even begin to fathom the emptiness of hers ... the pain of separation. I wish she was here so I could tell her I finally understand ... so I could apologize for not trying to do even more to ease the separation ... But it's too late.

I am beginning to realize the full significance of the saying "What comes around, goes around" as it applies to the cycle of life. We start out as babies, totally dependent on others for our needs. And many of us, towards the end of our lives, often return to "babyhood" in the sense of not being able to care for ourselves and be independent ... needing to rely on others for even our basic needs ... not being able to understand "the world" and how things work. Also in the area of parenthood. As a child we are so "connected" with our family ... at least I was. Then we get married and have children of our own and become so absorbed in our new family and the demands and joys of life with them that we become somewhat disconnected from our childhood family which is as it should be, I know, but it is still so difficult on those who are "left behind". Unless we work real hard at it, we can actually "lose contact" with those we love so dearly ... even if they live only a few miles away let alone hours away. My Mom would be so hurt that I wanted to spend time alone with Jim when I was home (after a year of being away) to visit her for 3 or 4 days. I would say, too often, "Mom, the scriptures say that you are to leave your mother and father and cleave to your wife ... to become one". I never understood why she could not be happy for me and my happiness. Now, what went around had come around to me and I am the one standing "on the outside" looking at my children so happy in their new lives with wonderful spouses and awesome babies and feeling "left behind". I realize now that my mom was happy for me, as I am for my own, but she saw her life passing and wanted so much to just share my life with me as I long to continue to share "life" with my children and their families. There is no way to describe or explain the "emptiness" of life without them. And it is sad that, try as they may, they will never fully understand it until they go through the same experience ... having to "let go" of their little ones and watch them grow into young adults with lives of their own. Knowing that the love they are able to build with their grandbabies and maintain with thier children will greatly depend on their children's efforts to make it possible and to nurture it.

I hear grandparents whose children live nearby complain about how their children "take them for granted" and "dump" the grandbabies on them when ever they need a sitter. Pay them? Why? Aren't they doing them a favor letting them enjoy their grandbabies? So hard feelings or hurts can develop as parents start to feel they are really not loved by their children but are only being used to fulfill their children's needs. And yet I find I envy these grandparents so often ... having their grandbabies around ... being able to watch them (and their own children) grow through the stages of life. And then I sit back and realize how truly blessed I am. I miss my children and grandchildren so much but my kids and their spouses really try hard to help us feel loved and appreciated. They try hard to help us see our grandbabies even more than just once or twice a year. I know they talk about us to our grandbabies and keep pictures of us around for them to see. And they try hard to keep our own personal parent-child relationship alive and assure of us of thier love through regular phone calls at least and visits as often as possible. I know, deep down, that they long for and need that contact with us just as much as we do ... They don't do it just to "keep peace" or "make us happy". Yes, I know that. But we parents can get such a "poor me" attitude at times and question our children's love or if they really miss us. It just seems to be a "cycle of life" we all go through.

Finally, as I go through these "roller coaster" emotions, I understand why so many may get divorces later in life. Their lives are so wrapped up and centered around their children and work that they don't take time to nurture their own personal relationship. I am so thankful Jim and I did and continue to do so. We have often told others that love, romance .... marriage is something that you must "work at" to make it last through a lifetime. Sometimes you feel like "giving up" but you just hang in there and stay true and keep trusting and believing that "this too shall pass". The most important thing is to keep communicating and responding to each other ... being honest about all your needs and desires and a non accusing way - admitting that you may be part of the problem and want to be better if so. It is tough at times, but it is so worth it! When our children left home, I can honestly say I didn't go into the deep depression of the "empty nest syndrome" as so many do because I still had Jim ... the one it all began with. Sure I have had, and will have many more, bouts of the "blues" ... like I am trying to put behind me today by writing about it, but my husband understands that that is just the sensitive, totally emotional, loving woman he fell in love with and promised to stick by "till death we do part". He knows me ... I mean really knows me, more than anyone else on this earth because he has worked hard for almost 34 years now to do so. We are still developing "our life together" as it is, once again, JUST THE TWO OF US! We have found new interests, activities, and friends that are helping us to become "US" in a whole new way where we can succeed a little more easily in "letting go" of our children we love so dearly so they can develop their own lives. I don't know where I would be without my husband. That worries me at times when I am down like this too. Even though we have always vowed to "go together", what if he should pass from this earth before me? What would I do? Where would I go? What if I needed help as my mom did? Who would help me through these "missing my loved ones times"? My kids have their own lives ... I never want to be a burden on them. A part of me says I will never have to worry about that cause I am working hard to stay healthy and active. But then I think of my mom and her alzheimers ... She couldn't help it and I just had to "be there" for her. Oh well, it is time to move on with this day. I need to refocus on my Honey, our home, our lives, ...our present. "We have this moment to hold in our hands and to touch ... 'fore it slips through our fingers like sand. Yesterday's gone, and tomorrow may never come, but we have this moment ... TODAY".

Seize the day, loved one. Live life to the fullest, love as though there will not be a tomorrow to show that love, enjoy the blessing our wonderful God continues to provide and PRAISE HIS NAME!!!!

2006-07-24T11:19:00.000-07:00

VACATION IS OVER ... BACK TO "LIFE"

Unfortunately I have lost my toolbars that enable me to change the font size, make it bold, italicized, etc. Guess I'll have to contact my son for some help!

Anyways, I AM back from vacation and trying to readjust to "real life". I have been struggling with migraine headaches since we returned and I know it must be from stress but I don't know how to combat the stress ... except to run away again! (smile)

We had an AWESOME vacation in Olympic National Park. God blessed us, once again, with ideal weather. We spent a total of 9 days backpacking in the "back country" and had total seclusion from others. God allowed us to see so much wildlife ... including our long desired BEAR! We totally lost track of what day it was and very easily adjusted to not having a "schedule" of what to do or where to go next.

It is strange, though, that in the midst of my most joyous times relaxing in God's great outdoors I was often overwhelmed with "homesickness" for my kids, their spouses, and our grandbabies. I wanted so bad to have them with us to share the joys. Perhaps it was worse because I know that my two youngest grandbabies have started walking in the past couple months and I have not seen either one of them since they have started. I think I am quite spoiled with seeing my grandbabies at least every other month now and summer makes that a bit difficult. It also "blows me away" to realize my oldest grandchild will be starting pre-school this fall. It seems so unfair that I can't watch them grow up but I know it is something I just must accept. I sure do understand how my parents felt now and how horribly heartbreaking it must have been for them to only see their grandbabies on the average of once a year. I never totally understood why it was so hard for them to accept ... I was so busy and happy with my "little family". I also missed my mom one day especially. I was in a Walmart and watched a lady about my age wrap her arms around her frail mother and say "I love you, too, Mom" and I immediately recalled such times my mom and I had in Walmart and how much I wish I had made time to be with her even more. REGRETS. We can never go back and change the past, no matter how much we wish we could. SO I am determined to do my best to go to extra lengths to MAKE TIME for those I love as much as possible so I can spare myself of some future regrets.

God has blessed me so much. I found myself talking to him constantly as we were backpacking ... sometimes for 2 hours or more, occasionally stopping to talk to my "Sweetie". During those times when I was talking to God the journey was so easy. When we finished our talk for the day, I seemed to struggle at times with cramps in my leg or feet so I would just start praising Him for His blessings to try to take my mind off it. The few pains and discomforts of the backpacking journey were so worth it in exchange for the times of rest, quietness, peace, and joyful times Jim and I were able to enjoy together.

Well, I may have this migraine pretty well whooped so I think I will try to get some work done around the house. Back to "real life" ... I will survive.

2006-06-26T05:45:00.000-07:00

TRAVEL ANXIETIES

Is it just me or do others also get a bit "tense" when it comes to travelling? I love vacations and am so happy once I am "there" but I get so up-tight thinking about the rush of the airport, fearful of having too much weight in my suitcase, setting off a buzzer due to a belt buckle or boot hooks, loosing a wallet or purse ... having our airplane cancel the flight due to a feeling of the pilot that "something just not being right" (not that I would want to go up in it in such a situation) and having to find an alternate route, having to battle the big city traffic in an unfamiliar city to boot, etc., etc. Perhaps its because I have experienced such things (all that I italicized) and perhaps its just that I don't like the "unknown". Since we are into backpacking, I get a bit fearful of the "unknown" that the trails may hold for us: blisters, a sudden rain storm catching us unawares, a trail we might venture onto only to discover when we come out the other end that it has been closed because of storm damage and it is considered impassable (remember, Kelly?); mosquitoes that might decide to try to eat me for lunch (although repellent usually takes care of that! :) a swollen river that presents a challenging crossing, a ridge trail that tests my endurance beyond limits ... etc, etc. And here we go on another backpacking trip ... our longest time out ever with 4 to 5 nights in the wilderness and a report from a fellow trekker that saw 3-4 bears a close proximity just this past week on the trail we plan to hike. I've always wanted to see a real bear in the wilderness, but not too close at hand!

The scriptures challenge me not to worry about tomorrow. I try not to. I must focus on the joys of the tomorrows: a moose coming up to the roadside to munch grass so we can get pictures, the mountain top panoramic views of God's awesome creation that cannot be given justice through a mere verbal, or even photographic, description ... You just have to be there to FEEL THE AWE OF IT! Huh, James and Kelly?; the time away from the pressures of life with no television, work, etc. to distract me from "true living", loving, and enjoying experiences with the one I love most .... my hubby! ... and on occasion being blessed with the joys of having my children and their spouses (hopefully someday grandbabies) with us to enjoy it all! GOD IS GOOD!

Knowing what "lies ahead" helps me to endure the "tensions" of getting there .... just like in real life! But I sure don't like the journey to get there sometimes. I wish I could just shout "beam me up, Scottie!" and be transported in an instant to the joys that await me. But I know that all the trials on the way will "be worth it all". Sounds like a sermon, doesn't it? Hee Hee!

Have a great journey wherever your feet may take you. I plan to!

I actually enjoy the packing and planning

2006-06-24T06:27:00.000-07:00

LEAVING MY "TO DO" LIST BEHIND

Vacation is just around the corner ... much needed ... life is a whirl! I often wonder how I get everything done during the school year while I teach. It seems each day in the summer just zooms by and no matter how devoted I am to my "to do" list , it seems I have accomplished very little and my summer break is half way over! Well, it will be once I return from vacation.

I have such mixed emotions when it comes to vacations. I hate spending the money on enjoyment when there are so many things we want to get done on our home and are scrounging on money to do it all. But I am coming to realize that when you own a home there is never an end to things that need to be done or you want to do. As long as the absolutely necessary things get done, other things can be put off for awhile and the world will not come to an end. We must take out time to just live, love, and enjoy life. In Matthew 6:19-21 Jesus tells us "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth doth not destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Reading on, in verse 25 He says, "Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?" and in verse 34, "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

I believe God put us on earth, not just to toil and labor, but to love and enjoy all He has created. Otherwise, all is vanity! ( as the scriptures say) Why devote all our time, energy, and resources ... our life ... into earthly treasures for others to enjoy once we are gone? How horrible to spend your entire life in pursuit of gaining more and neglect the joys of life ... fulfilling God's plan for us, investing time in those we love, exploring the world God created, building relationships of caring and being cared for ... BUILDING OUR LEGACY. Years after we are gone no one will remember all the things we acquired on this earth but, hopefully, everywhere they turn they will see something, hear something, taste or smell something ... experience something that will bring back memories of "who we were" - our being, our character.

So, it is time to put aside my "to do" list for awhile and get some rest .. some joy ... some time with the love of my life that God has blessed me with, enjoying God's creation.

2006-06-05T07:30:00.000-07:00

BACK TO LIFE ... RELEASED FROM STRESS!

School has been out for a little over one week and I am just now beginning to "live" again. I have always bragged that "It's almost a crime to be paid to do something you just LOVE to do"! Well, during this past year of teaching Kindergarten, after 19 years in this profession, I could not say that. It was the most challenging, difficult class I have ever taught. Each child, individually, had a fun and energetic personality. But when all 25 of them were placed in the same classroom together the group dynamics brought out the worst in many of them (almost all of my boys, which was over half the class)so that they were a challenge almost every day of the entire school year. By the last month of school, I dreaded every day and just wanted it to be over. It's pretty bad when the teacher doesn't want to go to school. It seems strange that during that entire last month of school I struggled with ongoing laryngitis. If it had not been for being able to project my voices through my "surround sound" system, I would not have been able to teach. About 4 days after the kids were gone for the summer I started getting my voice back! Coincidence???? Two doctors had tried to treat me for seasonal allergies and sinus problems but nothing worked until school was out. It is strange how stress can cause our bodies to do weird things even when we don't THINK we are under undue stress. Oh, well ... SUMMER IS HERE! PRAISE THE LORD!!

I have decided to continue getting up early in the mornings with Jim at 6:00 AM to start my days. I have only missed that goal one day so far (today ... due to a long and busy weekend!) when I slept in until 6:30. It has been great to have plenty of time to exercise, have my devotions, and eat breakfast and still start in on my "to do" list by 8:30 at the latest! This is life! I often thank God for leading me into teaching as my profession. The older I get the more I appreciate those 3 months off for summer. I don't think I could handle a full time job year round. This also gives my honey a "stay at home" wife, which he always wanted, at least during the summer months.

Jim ran his second marathon (in Cleveland) and,despite the strong winds and coldness of the day, he beat his first marathon time by almost 2 minutes! I am so proud of him. Even more, I am so thankful he is trying to keep himself in good physical health. I would like to keep him around for awhile ... like my whole lifetime! (smile)

Well, I don't want to waste my day away on the computer so I better get started on my "to do" list for today.

2006-05-09T16:22:00.002-07:00

Oh My ... Oh MY ... OH MY!!! WHERE DID THE LAST 4 MONTHS GO?

There is no way to blog all that has happened in the past four months while our PC has been out of commission and life has been CRAZY BUSY!!!!

It seems so appropriate that I would return to the blogging scene on May 9th ... my grandson first birthday! Happy birthday, Canaan! How I wish I could be with him for this awesome event of his life that he will not even remember. At least I was able to be with my first grandchild on her first birthday... Canaan's sister Adelaide ... thanks to her mommy and daddy making it possible by coming to our home. I sure have great kids! They do everything they can to keep us posted on their children's growth and "firsts" and to help us have as many chances as possible to see them. I feel quite certain that my grandbabies will always know who we are and how very much we treasure them even though we live 3 hours apart.

Well, the school year is coming to a close. Praise the Lord! This has been the roughest year of my entire teaching career. I actually love every one of my students and would do fine with them if I just didn't have to deal with all 25 of them in the same room for 9 months! They are talkative, ornery, super active ... much like my son. Today a first grade teacher came to my door following her recess duty with my class included and began by saying, "I don't know how you handle all these kids in one class at the same time!" Then she proceeded to name over half of my students, one at a time, and what he (my girls are pretty good) got i trouble for on the playground. I told her she impressed me by knowing all their names. She told me it was because she has to yell at them every time she has recess duty for what they do wrong. See? It's not just me! (smile ... and they are coming her way next year!) Poor lady!

Highlights of the past 4 months focus on my grandchildren:
In March we met James and Kelly in "Amish country" and they entrusted their 9 month old "bundle of joy" into Grandma and Grandpa's care for about 18 hours! They didn't even call to "check up" on her/us. We felt so complimented by their complete trust and faith in us being able to take care of Halle. We enjoyed ourselves fully the entire time and found our granddaughter to be a "dream baby" ... a delight the entire time! I did nickname her "Thumper" as she always seems to thump her entire bottom & legs up and down in the bed as she prepares to go to sleep! I also found out that when she is tired she will rock herself back and forth if she is sitting up just like my mom told me I always did when I was a little girl! That's cool! She favors me in some ways!!(HeeHee)

Sunshine came to visit us with the kids at the end of February and a couple weeks ago we went to Aaron and Sunshine's house ... just for the night but better than nothing! Those two visits allowed us to see Canaan at the beginning to crawl state right into the freestanding and "walking but not aware of it yet" state. It feels like we have been able to watch him grow up! Our kids will never realize how important and precious that is to us. When we saw them last time Adelaide came running into my arms and hugged me for all it was worth. Yep,, I am assured, I AM LOVED BY MY GRANDDAUGHTER! Canaan crawled straight towards us too, grabbed hold of Grandpa's leg and pulled himself up to be picked up ...That sure did win Grandpa's heart! He was on "cloud 9"! We had so much fun with them.

I am so thankful for the way we have tried to see our kids/grandkids at least every other month for the past couple years. We are so blessed that they work so hard to make it possible too. We all have such busy schedules but we have found that a 24 hour trip is so worth the time and effort and "takes off the edge" of homesickness for our kids, their spouses, and our grandbabies. Sometimes those short visits provide more "QUALITY TIME" than longer visits do!

Well, I better close. I have so much more to write about ... especially church ... but I also have other responsibilities pulling me. It's a good thing we are in the midst of a sermon series on "Putting our lives back in balance" and "Priorities" ... I do believe I am stretched a bit thin right now .. but I am happy! " I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"! (Phillippians 4:13)

2006-01-16T11:43:00.000-08:00

THE BEST GIFTS OF ALL COME FROM THE HEART!

Our church gave us an awesome gift this year. We have served in many churches in our lifetime and received many different types of gifts for Pastor's appreciation, birthdays and Christmas but our Christmas gift from the Newton Falls Church of the Nazarene this year was the BEST because it is something no money amount can be placed upon ... It is truly a gift of the heart.

Okay, Okay, I know you are dying to know what it was ... is. They gave us a calendar!!!!! Yes, that's right, a calendar. But not just any 0rdinary calendar but one on which the individual families of the church have signed their names on different Sundays throughout the year to provide us with a time of fellowship and eating with them! Is that creative or what?!? And it continues to give all year long! Wow!!!

Every Sunday we pack up our car and drive the 26 miles to Newton Falls to minister. To be honest, as we have gotten older, the drive has become more and more difficult to make. It has been so discouraging at times to not be able to be an active part of our church family's community ... to have little opportunity to get into each of their homes and truly fellowship and get to know them. When Mom passed away in June, and then Jim got his "day position" in the factory, we began to see hope in possibly reaching our goal of more fellowship with our church family but we had still not figured out the particulars. Then ... they did it for us!

We realize that this gift truly involves everyone on a more personal level than when a church pulls from its budget (composed of tithes and offerings) to provide us with a gift. And that makes us appreciate it all the more! We hope they will get to know us in a way they have not been able to truly know us before ... nothing special ... just plain country folk that love to have fun, especially with God's family!

I don't know exactly what it is but Jim and I both sense an atmosphere of joy and excitement in our church that seemed to be lacking for awhile. Perhaps it is because they have all had to agree to get personally involved in this joint effort to make this special gift become a reality? Perhaps it is some New Year's Resolutions some have made? Perhaps it is the excitement of working together to make some long needed repairs and remodeling of the church facilities? Perhaps it is the moving of the Holy Spirit in our midst? Perhaps it is all of these and much more ... only God knows. But it is exciting! As the song says, "I just feel like something good is about to happen"!

Jim often tells us "With every promise in God's Word, there is a premise - something we each must inidividually do before we can receive God's Promises. He has been preaching on "Can We Really Trust God?" I believe many in our church are trying, with all their hearts, to trust God as never before. I believe they are determined this year to daily read God's Word and talk to Him, to be more faithful in their church attendance and in the paying of their full tithes and offerings. If they do these things alone, they cannot help but to mature and grow in His Love and Grace. And, as a result, something "Good" is sure to happen in our church as God moves through His people! Thank you, God, for what You have already done and for what You are about to do! WHOOPIE!!!

2006-01-09T13:39:00.000-08:00

CAN A FUNERAL SERVICE BE "BEAUTIFUL"???

Jim had the privilege of performing the graveside/funeral service for his old friend/fishing buddy, "Whitey" Shortz, this past week. I am still hearing feedback from so many people that I run into, both Whitey's relatives and his friends, who have described it as the most beautiful funeral service they have ever attended and they wish they had videotaped it. I wasn't able to be there but I feel I was because I have heard so much about it. Jim felt so honored to be asked to do it and it pleased him to know it was something that truly helped so many. He found such joy in being able to minister to people in our own local community ... many that he grew up with.

There are so many "needy" people right where we live ... family and friends alike. How I wish there was a way we could minister to them and help them in their search for happiness and inner peace. I pray that our lives will reflect Jesus in such a way that perhaps they can all come to realize where our hope, our comfort, our help, our strength, our joy, our inner peace, and our love all comes from ... from the great "I AM". Where would we be without Jesus?

2006-01-07T08:03:00.000-08:00

TRASH OR TREASURE????

I am using today as the day to put away the Christmas decorations and some other holiday accumulations in an effort to keep my home as organized as my son left it. (smile) Well, as I looked at some New Year's celebration memorabilia, I asked myself if they were "trash" or "treasure". When I was younger I would have quickly said "Treasure! Of course!" There are so many things I have collected through the years from special vacations, events, etc. that I never thought twice about keeping. Yet, over the past few years, I have discarded many of those things, realizing that I have never even looked at them through all these years until that day I discarded them. They would mean absolutely nothing to anyone else and, truthfully, did not meant that much to me when I looked at them years later. Therefore, I can only assume they are actually "trash" that I have sought to "treasure" through the years. I guess I am realizing I am getting older, and hopefully wiser. I realize that anything that was truly important to me,exciting enough to me, or made a big enough impact on my life, is so imprinted in my memory that I do not need Memorabilia to help me remember them. And should my memory one day fade from dementia (I hope not), those items are not going to help me remember those things any better. Therefore, they are trash.

Matthew 6:19-22 says, "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon the earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt (consume), and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth not rust doth corrupt (consume), and where thieves do not break through to steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

Wow! I finally have storage space and closets (which I have never had for 11 years) to store all my "treasures" in, and I am realizing a lot of it is "trash"! Hmmmm! Why does it take so long for us to realize that? I wish it was summer. I'd have time to do a real "overhaul" in our "collections". Sounds like garage sale items to me. One person's trash is another person's treasure!!! (smile)

2006-01-06T15:05:00.000-08:00

THE BEST GIFTS ARE GIFTS FROM THE HEART!

Our family has been trying combat the "routine" of gift giving and become more creative but, alas, lack of time (and for some, such as myself, lack of creativity period!) we once again returned to the yearly exchange of Christmas lists! I believe we all still were thrilled with the gifts we received but, I must admit, by very best gift came AFTER Christmas day. First of all, the one thing Jim and I live for is a visit from our children and grandchildren. When they come into our home, it feels so much more full of life and joy. They are faithful to visit us every Christmas season, and in this past year even much more throughout the year ... It was AWESOME!

This year James and his family had to postpone their arrival a day because of the flu bug, not wanting to spread it to the rest of the family (although all of his and Sunshine's family had already had it during the holidays). I believe he probably still had a few germs hanging on but I will always risk getting such critters rather than stay away from my children or grandchildren! Well, Jim and I both came down with the within an hour of each other in the middle of the night. We were miserable, playing tag team in trying to keep the toilet company. The kids and their families remained on one side of the living room while we crashed on the other. Sunshine and her family HAD to leave that day and I could not even get up to pray with them and wave goodbye at the door ... now that is really sick for me to break such a great family tradition! I told James and Kelly that we would understand if they left that day instead of waiting until the next day as they had planned but they "hung in there"! That is when I received my BEST Christmas gift.

Yes, it was a gift just to have them stay another day so I could feel well enough to make some special things for them to eat (Why do we mothers love feeding our kids?) But that was not the gift I am speaking of at this time. The gift was given to me that day as I laid so sick on the couch. My son went out in the kitchen and cleaned up the mess and clutter. Then he proceeded to work his way, it seems, through my entire house! I thanked him and thanked him and he said, "I don't want you to feel all stressed out or depressed when you get well and have a mess to deal with." He knew what I needed most, even though I did not! He came up with the most precious gift he could give me ... a gift of love and compassion straight from his heart ... and it wasn't even on my list! WOW!! I wish I could be so creative!

When I started feeling better .... and especially after they left and our house was once again empty so all I had to focus on was our house .... I was so relieved to not feel the pressure to set things in order prior to going back to school. I felt such a peace deep within of knowing I could take my time recuperating. Sure there were things still left to do ... take down the tree and decorations and put them away and clean out my fridge by freezing or using up leftovers, etc. ... but I felt no pressure in doing any of that because my house looked so good! So this is to my son ... THANK YOU, JAMES! May God bless you as you have blessed your father and I. Thanks to you and Kelly for taking care of us as we recuperated ... for hanging around instead of leaving early. We love you both (Halle too!) SOOOOO MUCH!

All my love,
Mom

2005-12-10T10:50:00.000-08:00

SOMETIMES IT HURTS TO OBEY

It sure is hard to obey God's Word at times when you know you may hurt someone you deeply care about. How horrible to try to help them "grow in the Lord" and be more successful in achieving their deepest heart's desire to serve God effectively, only to possibly drive them away from Him and the church and yourself. It hurts when you have read the scriptures, prayed about it, and felt the spirit urging you to talk to that fellow brother or sister in the Lord, only to have them respond totally opposite of how you thought they would respond. Yes, I know it does hurt, and it is so hard to humble ourselves to accept "constructive criticism from others. I've "been there, done that". I have been on the receiving end, more times than I wish to say. But I am glad someone cared enough to invest in me.

Shouldn't a mature Christian be able to pray through it and grow from it? I love John Maxwell's book, "Failing Forward". He states that failure is inevitable. It is not a question of IF we will fail, but how we will react to our failures or shortcomings. We need to use those failures to improve ourselves. H. Stanley Judd said, "Don't waste energy trying to cover up failure. Learn from your failures and go on to the next challenge. It's okay to fail. If you're not failing, you're not growing." Hyatt and Gottlieb assert, "Most careers involve other people. You can have great academic intelligence and still lack social intelligence - the ability to be a good listener, to be sensitive toward others, to give and take critcism well." So, when you try to help one you love in the Lord by opening their eyes to a possible shortcoming, and they react totally opposite of what you expect, is it their "lack of social intelligence" or your own "lack of social intelligence" that presented the inability to "give" or "take" criticism? Then you question yourself if you should have said what you said. Then the spirit reminds you of the instructions you felt you had received in God's Word... Oy-Vey!

The scriptures tell us: "Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke, encourage - with great patience and careful instruction."(2 Timothy 4:2) and "Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men." (Titus 3:1). There are many more scriptures that instruct us on how we need to act and react, to live and to lead, to exhort fellow believers in the Lord and in love to constantly seek to grow to be more like Jesus. I doubt that man can reach perfection on this earth, but we must constantly seek to let the spirit lead us to help us grow "in His image".

I take these scriptures as commands. I would not want to live my life thinking I was reflecting Jesus well in all situations if, indeed, I was not. I would hope a fellow Christian brother or sister would let me know (in a kind, gentle way) if I was offending others in any way, including themselves. "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." (Philippians 2:3-4) I realize it is important to first build a good relationship with a fellow Christian before trying to help them see an area where they may be "coming across" totally differently than how they think they are in relating to others. The problem is, how do you know for sure that the closeness you feel to that person is how they also feel to you? How do you know they have truly come to the point of Christian maturity you they need to be (and you think they are) to be ready and able to accept your insights?

Yes, it hurts to obey God's Word sometimes, especially in trying to meet the responsibilities of being a "fellow Christian". Can we shun this responsibility and make it to Heaven? It sure would be easier to just worry about yourself making it to Heaven. I guess we just have to keep on doing our best to "trust and obey", no matter what the cost. I'm glad someone took the time to enlighten me on some of my shortcomings in the past and I hope I have a close enough relationship with others that they feel they can do it in the future if needed. I just want so much to be like Jesus!

I need to be patient with those who do not act or react as Jesus would, remember we are human, and ask God to intervene and use me in any way He wishes to use me to help others ... no matter what the cost may be. If I truly love them in the Lord and want them to have joy and success in their efforts to grow in the Lord and serve Him, I can do no less. At least I won't have to worry about getting to Heaven and having them look at me with eyes of betrayal and ask me why I never told them.

2005-11-29T13:22:00.000-08:00

BLESSINGS AND FRUSTRATIONS

It appears that our family is VERY busy if you see how little any of us have blogged recently! I am so excited that Sunshine is trying to join us in this adventure. It is such a neat way of keeping in touch with each other's innermost feelings and thoughts when you live so far away from each other!

Thanksgiving was a time of frustration for us in not being able to have Sunshine, Aaron, Adelaide and Canaan home. We have only seen them for a short 24 hour visit since August and my grandbabies have grown so much in those months! However, it was also a time of blessings in that James and Kelly and Halle were able to be at home with us for 4 whole days and a little more! It was frustrating for all of us that the time went so quickly but James' class had a wonderful class reunion and we had a great family time at my sister-in-law's/niece's home. It was so good to be able to show off one of my grandbabies, even though I was accused (probably rightly so ... smile) of "hogging" her to myself!

I believe my greatest frustration right now is with the unfaithfulness of so many of the followers of Christ. Does it make sense that you would have over 90 in church one Sunday (with no special emphasis) and then be down to 48 the very next Sunday? And why is it that our tithes and offerings began to decrease every week since the holidays came upon us? Are people out shopping for Christmas instead of going to church? Are they using their tithes and offerings, which we have tried to teach them is a commandment from God (not a choice) to buy Christmas gifts? I know I am not to judge but we have sought to teach the steps needed to take towards spiritual maturity for the past 10 years but I wonder how many have really grasped the concepts we have taught? I worry what is to happen to our church at times and I know ours is not the only one that is probably experiencing this during the holidays. I guess it is a sign of the times.

In talking with some fellow Christians the other day we all agreed that sometimes you just feel like shaking those who do not appear to be making consistent progress towards being totally obedient to God in their walk towards full Christian maturity. What blessings they are missing out on! I want them to experience the joy we have felt so often in our lives when we "went without" in order to pay our tithe and received a greater blessing than we could ever dream of as a result of it. I long for them to experience the peace that passes all understanding when trials and testings come their way ( physically, emotionally, in relationships, or financially) and they know they have been fully obedient and faithful to the Lord and kept their relationship with Him strong and alive and know at He is in control. I know I am not perfect, but I sure am trying to "be like Jesus". "Take the time and the trouble to keep yourself spiritually fit." We have quoted that verse over and over. We must be faithful in our attendance at church. We must seek to serve the Lord, even though we may be criticized and it may bring hurt at times, we must do it for Him ... at least He knows our heart. We must be faithful in paying our tithes and offerings regularly, not just when it is convenient. We must DAILY SEEK HIS FACE IN PRAYER AND READING HIS WORD. It is not easy, but it is a must! Oh, Lord, help me to always be faithful ... No matter what others may say about me or do ... Help me keep my eyes focused on YOU.

I guess all of life has its blessings and its frustrations. I will try to focus on "whatsoever is of good report".

2005-11-16T02:55:00.000-08:00

CHAPTERS OF OUR LIVES

It is amazing when you stop to think about how, through the decisions you and your loved ones make, you begin "new chapters" of your lives ... bittersweet journeys begun. Bittersweet ... I really like that word. It so describes so many of the events of our journey through life.

Right now I am facing another "bittersweet" moment. A time where I am struggling in having to once again "let go" of my child to allow her to begin another "chapter" of her life ... one that can only enrich her life and happiness (which is my hope and prayer for my children and thus is very "sweet") but will at the same time "hurt deeply" for me personally which is very "bitter".

Holidays. They have always been a time for "family" in our lives. Through the years we have travelled many miles to be with our family for the holidays and gone through a lot of stress in trying to make sure each side of our family got "equal share". We all go through that, don't we? It is even more difficult when you live so far from one another ... When you can't see both sides of the family in one day and be home that night for your own "immediate family" time. Then, when you add to that the desire to be with friends that you haven't been with in years and the opportunity to do so during the holidays ... Well, that is where we are at.

I guess it is even harder for me cause there are grandchildren involved now and I want so much to be a part of their lives. I know that 24 hour occasional visits will not do that but the special warmth, joy, and fellowship found in holiday visits build memories that last a lifetime.

Yet, having also been in the position of living far away and wanting to establish our own traditions, I can understand (and even expected) this to happen someday ... just not this year when I have 2 brand new grandbabies I was looking forward to showing off and having all together in one location for the first time of their (and our) lives.

It helps because I know how dearly our children love us. They are so good at assuring us of that. And I know they will always try to give us some holiday time together. It's just tough and I have to admit it. I wasn't quite ready to accept it even though I knew it would happen. I remember when they got into school and we started to make our own traditions. I believe Sunshine was second grade and James was in Kindergarten that year. We lived close enough that we could celebrate Christmas at home and then go to our folks. It caused a lot of frustration and hurt for our parents but we still had some awesome quality times together. To be honest, for the parents/grandparents that we have now become, no time would probably be the "best time" for our children to begin their own traditions. I guess you just worry about being forgotten ... Isn't that crazy? It is so different being the "old people" at family festivities during the holidays now that all of our parents are gone. This is my first year to experience that and I am realizing it is going to really hit me harder than I thought.

However, I am proud of my daughter for doing what she feels she needs to do. I realize she and her husband have been under tremendous pressurres in their occupations as professors at Houghton college and they just need to "get away" and renew a close friendship. Friends can help us reveal our inner turmoils and find answers and relief sometimes in ways that family cannot. We can reminesce with them and "relive" the days of our youth (in college or high schoold) and, for a moment, go back in time to the yesteryears of less pressures and far less responsibilities.

As the Matthew 19:5 says "...a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife ...". Of course that goes both ways and I quoted it many times to my parents when they could not understand some of the decisions I made that did not always include them. It sure feels different when the shoe is "on the other foot". But that is the cycle of life. Yep, I guess I named this blog spot well as "Journey Through Life" because it is truly a journey ... and with it comes both things that we do and things we do not enjoy. We just must focus on the "good". "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." (Phillipians 4:8) So today I choose to think on the good. I had one of the most enjoyable 24 hours I have ever spent with my daughter last weekend. It was short, but we had a wonderful walk to the playground, enjoyed great times with my grandchildren, and talked from our hearts as we have never talked before. I am so blessed to have such wonderful, loving children. It is so fun to be not only their mom but also to become "their friend" as they go through their "journey through life".

Well, the day is wasting and there is much to do. "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." (Phillipians 4:13)

2005-11-10T17:25:00.000-08:00

DROWNED IN GRADE CARDS AND CONFERENCES

Last night I was able to finally attack the huge mountain of papers, mail, books, magazines, etc. that had accumulated on our kitchen table over the past 3 weeks as I have been consumed in grade cards, preparations for Parent-Teacher Conferences, and "life" in general. I took everything off the table and plopped them all on my living room floor to sort through while I
"squeezed in" a movie (I'd practically forgotten we had a television!). Well, I got so absorbed in the movie "Cold Creek Manor", I got little accomplished. It felt so good to just "vegetate". Once it was over, I went back to work.

That was last night. I just got home from my first night of Parent-Teacher Conferences and walked into my living room to face the many piles of sorted "stuff" from my work last night. I think I will let it lay until Monday! (smile) I am going to my daughter's tomorrow so I want to get my lesson planning done and out of the way, get packed, and get some sleep.

I feel like I am beginning to come up for air from the sea of school demands that have been drowning me. I am so thankful to have a supportive, understanding husband through all this.
Well, off to lesson plans!

2005-10-26T15:41:00.000-07:00

I LOVE BLOGGING!

With time pressures as they are I have little time for "me" but I am finding I spend any extra moments reading and writing blogs instead of playing Spider Solitaire or Free Cell! I guess it is because it is all about "relationships" and real life ... telling it just like it is. I love it!

I am so sad when I scan the blogs of those I love and see no new postings. I love it when I read their comments on mine ... It's like they just reach out and touch the innermost chords of my heart. A comment is kinda like an "on-line hug".

But, woe is me, I have spent so much time reading blogs and comments on blogs, and commenting on blogs myself, that "my time" is depleted and I must return to my duties. But I feel warm and fuzzy inside because some of those comments I read were made on my blog and, thus, I have been "hugged" by those far away. Thank you for blessing my day!

2005-10-25T04:10:00.000-07:00

REMEMBERING MY MOM

We had such a great weekend with our kids as we dedicated our granddaughter. I believe God worked the timing of that weekend to prepare me with an overflow of joy to carry me through a flood of sadness last night. On our way home from Newton Falls from our care group I saw Christmas Lights out on a home in Champion and I wanted to say, "Hey, Mom, look at the pretties!" But ... she wasn't there. And she won't be this Christmas ... this Thanksgiving. I never thought the holidays would bring such sadness to me this year but it makes sense ...My first year without my mom.

It was't like this with my dad but my husband reminds me that Mom was with us for the past 9 years. She went to church with us regularly, we visited her and she us, we went shopping together (which she loved to do and I actually don't enjoy so much anymore) and she found such joy in the simple things of life I often would overlook ... like the Christmas lights. It is such a blessing to know that I took time last year to drive her around to look at them ... I never dreamed it would be the last time. From the time I was little she and Dad would take me out to look at the lights ... to celebrate the season.

And life goes on. God's grace is sufficient! His joy is new every morning!

Have a good day basking in His presence!

2005-10-22T05:53:00.000-07:00

IMPATIENCE

It is so exciting to see the cement truck outside this morning pouring cement for Jim's shop floor. I went out and took pictures of the actvity in the building. But my heart is so impatient, wanting it to be DONE NOW so we can get on the road to see my son and his family ... to hug and kiss all of them and to hold my little granddaughter in my arms!

What a mixture of emotions! It almost makes it impossible for me to function. I know I should be packing right now but I know it will only take 30 minutes at the most and then I will become even more impatient in waiting for a release from this task and to hit the road. Well, perhaps if I get it done I can psych myself out to think it will get us on the road quicker! And then I could work on school demands and not have to do them on the way. Okay! That's what I'll do! Look out Findlay, we're on our way soon!!!

2005-10-21T15:24:00.000-07:00

IF YOU RUN TO HIM, HE WILL RUN TO YOU!

My daughter has been going through some real strenuous times being the mom of two little ones, trying to care for her new home and husband, and trying to keep up with the demands of her job in teaching at the college level ... and that's not to mention church. As a result she has been "stretched thin", just like her mom. We were talking on the phone the other day and she shared with me how exhausted she is and feeling like she will never "catch up". Of course, like me, she has been going through a lot of frustration and exhaustion. As she talked I only had to listen for she knew what her greatest need was ... to make time for the Lord. As we do that daily, He will make a way for everything else to eventually get done and, most of all, He will give us a peace that can carry us through it all. The next day she started "making time" for the Lord first thing in the morning, as I seek to do, explaining that she realizes that is when she needs to be strengthened to prepare her for all the day may hold. And, guess what? Her day went absolutely FANTASTIC! She got more done in that day than she even dreamed was possible, even though she gave up an hour or so to spend it with God. The next day she did the same, starting the day in reading His Word and prayer and He brought her a blessing in providing for a need that she had been waiting on in a ... well, I would say a MIRACULOUS way. It's just like Jesus to do things like that, ya know?

God is good! Thank you Lord for blessing my children even as you continue to bless us. Keep them in Your will, doing Your work, reflecting Your love and dwelling in Your presence daily! Amen.

What a joy it is to pray God's "umbrella of protection" upon my children and grandchildren. We live so far apart I get frustrated at times that we cannot "be there" to lend a helping hand in their special times of need. But we can pray for God to send someone their way and know He will do it! I do that alot. Do you? If not, you are robbing yourself and your family of blessings beyond your wildest dreams. He is in control of the whole universe yet He cares for each of us individually and longs to meet our needs as we call on His name. Stop now and say a special prayer for someone you love but can't "be there" for them right now. Then sit back and watch what God does ... It is AWESOME!

May God bless you in your journey through this life. Remember, only YOU can "take the time and the trouble to keep yourself spiritually fit".

2005-10-21T14:57:00.000-07:00

DEDICATION OF BABIES

I am so looking forward to heading towards Findlay tomorrow to see my little grandbaby! Jim (alias "Grandpa") is so looking forward to being able to hold her in his arms as her mommy and daddy dedicate her to the Lord. I am also looking forward to the rare but wonderful joy of hearing my son preach! And then, as always, I look forward to some "girl" time with my favorite daughter-in-law (my ONLY one, to be truthful) Kelly who is more like my own flesh and blood than a daughter-in-law.

Dedication. A time to make a vow to the your loved ones, your church, but most important to God, that you will do all you can to raise your child in the church and to know and love the Lord. I have seen so many make those vows and never step foot in the church again ... or only on special occasions. Don't they realize the seriousness of making a VOW before the Almighty and then following through on it? Why do they just go through the motions? I am so thankful to know that when my children and their spouses make that vow they do so with great seriousness and sincerity. It is a joy to know that my grandchildren will hear about the "King of Kings" from a young age and not just from their parents. It is good to know that when they come to those rough times of their lives when they can't seem to understand their parents and why they are so strict, etc., they will have spiritual leaders who love them and care for them and will help them through those rough times. Some young people have no idea the available help they are robbing themselves of by not raising their children in the church.

I believe our family - Jim and I and our children Sunshine and James - have always been a CLOSE family. I believe that even they we may have disagreed and been at "wit's end" with each other at times, our love was strong enough to carry us through anything. However, I also know there was a time in both of our children's lives when we did not see "eye to eye". It was such a comfort to know they had other Christian family members who loved them, cared for them, and were always available to help them through those times. What would I have done without a Christian family to help raise our kids? What a joy and blessing that is! What amazes me is how you can tell your kids something and it just doesn't seem to make an impact. But let someone else tell them the very same thing, and it's the GOSPEL TRUTH! Weird, huh? I can't honestly cite any such incidents with my kids but I have no doubt that it happened time and time again because I know it happened when I, myself, have worked with teens and they will "listen" to me and take my advice better than their own parents. Of course, nine times out of ten I am just as strict and "hard on them" as their parents, if not More. That is the joy of "being there" for each other!

So, DEDICATION is not something to be taken lightly. It is a most important event in a child's life, especially if the parents follow through on their vows. Thank you Lord for "family"!

2005-10-14T09:15:00.000-07:00

A DAY TO "CATCH UP"

I often wonder, "Will life ever slow down?" Perhaps it is the class that I have this year (That's what my husband thinks) but I just can't seem to truly "catch up" no matter how hard I try. I started my day at 6:30 AM this morning (slept in a whole half hour on my "day off"!) It was good to be able to get my exercise, devotions and breakfast all done by 8:30 AM. Then I made myself close my eyes to the disarray of my home and close my ears to the inner part of me that can not stand such disorganization and I set down to devote myself to some "catching up" on school demands. Here it is shortly after noon and I feel I have only touched the "tip of the iceberg". Can one truly ever "catch up"??

I started thinking about what my husband said he had heard in a training session at work yesterday. Essentially, "Stress is caused when we don't take time to do those things we value as important." WOW! I immediately left my table and called my daughter-in-law. Then I sat down to blog a little. I will not loiter long, but I must "take time for me".

What do I value that I must take time for?
My Lord ... daily reading and meditating on His Word and talking to Him in
prayer. (It pleases me that, after struggling with this the
majority of my lifetime, I am finally prioritizing it as it should be
the past few years.)

My Family ... I do "okay" with this. I do best in "being there" for my husband.
I get stressed over not being able to "connect" as often as I'd
like with my children and grandchildren. I realize I am limited
in this area due to their busy schedules and demanding
responsibilities, as well as ours. We just have to keep trying!

My Church Family ... I have really failed in this area lately ... phone calls,
cards, visits I feel I need to make and I desire to make ...
but where is the time? This is also a Christian responsi-
bility I am failing on which I highly value!

"My Time" .... I long for ... NEED ... time for ME. Time to do "my thing"..... to
go for a walk just for the sheer pleasure of enjoying the outside
and all God has created ... to go for a bike ride with no
restrictions by time ... to spend time with my husband alone ...
to have the opportunity to read a book for the sheer joy of
reading let alone to read my Prevention magazines - the past 5
or 6 issues have not been opened! The list could go on and on...

Will "LIFE" ever slow down??? NO, I believe our culture ... our society ... will only continue to pressure us to a faster and faster pace. But this one thing I know ... When Christ returns or when He "takes me Home", whichever comes first, I will at last be away from all stress because He will set all my priorities straight and give me all I value ... all that will make me happy. He knows what I truly need and I trust Him to provide me with it!

Meanwhile, I will continue to keep on "keeping on", trying to prioritize my values and live above stress. I figure the best way I can do that is my keeping myself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually fit by starting EVERY DAY in HIS PRESENCE. Lord, place me where You want me today and open my eyes to the opportunities you give me to serve you. You are my life! Amen!!

2005-10-13T03:41:00.000-07:00

EARLY TO BED, EARLY TO RISE!

Remember that "age-old" comment: "Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise."? Well, the wealthy and wise part is yet to be realized but the "healthy" part is proving to be true! Since Jim started working day turn, we head to bed every night between 9:00 and 10:00 PM. I get up no later than 6:00 AM ...Today I got up at 5:30!!! I have had my prayer time with the Lord, walked 2 and a half miles, blogged on the internet, caught up on my children's blogs, and am still ahead of what I would normally get accomplished by this time. I feel rested, energetic and all around GREAT! Thank you, Lord, once again for giving my husband a "day" position!

2005-10-05T14:03:00.000-07:00

CRYING DEEP WITHIN

Last Sunday, the day after my husband's first marathon, I felt a heavy oppression ... I was crying deep within my innermost being ... and I had no idea "why". I am usually very bubbly and upbeat and I tried hard to put on that exterior but those who know me best asked me what was wrong. As I told them I didn't know the tears came to the surface.

What causes one to feel such a heavy oppression? I thought it might have something to do with my the marathon, and all of its intense training, was behind us. But that does not make sense because I know he will keep on training for the next marathon he can locate for Spring. I figured it was most likely my "trying" class this year, but I didn't feel that could cause me so much inner turmoil. I finally concluded it must be overall stress, even though I can't pinpoint all of its causes and I don't really feel how I think I would feel if I was truly under stress.

I do know that once I was able to sit down and try to recapture my "vision" for the Literacy Conference I will present at in November, I felt a huge relief. As I tried to figure out why I had lost that "vision" when I was so excited about it at the end of the school year, I realized that Mom's death, 3 days after the ending of the school year, was probably the cause. It is hard to believe that a tragedy could erase a vision so completely ... a vision that was also a passion deep within me.

Anyways, I just kept praying and made myself sit down for 45 minutes straight Sunday afternoon, reviewing my entries on the computer and all my chicken scratches of thoughts and slowly my vision reemerged and my tears within began to dry up. I realized I had not had 45 minutes in the past month, at least, to myself to just sit down and think due to the heavy demands of our church people's needs: accidents, illnesses, surgeries ... deaths. Wow! It made me just want to "run away" from everything church related. But by the time we got through the evening service I was already getting fired up to find another area in which I could serve the Lord. (smile)

My class has done so much better this week. Could it be because I am doing better on the inside? Probably so. Well, my husband needs the phone and this is long enough anyway.
May God meet your every need deep within as He does mine!

2005-10-01T18:01:00.000-07:00

MY HUSBAND'S FIRST MARATHON!

Well, today Jim ran his first marathon in Akron, OH with a final time of 4:30:38! WoW! And right by his side was our "adopted son" Marc Staton who had never completed a straight run of more than 8 miles straight before today ... I bet he is not walking too well right now.

It seems our lives have revolved around Jim' s running/training for nearly a year now ... I wonder if it will change? I kinda doubt it ... He is already talking about his next one (smile) - I am so proud of him doing this and for the first time, at age of nearly 53, he did it in an awesome time! I "ran my tail off" trying to catch him at different spots along the route and I guess I was more stressed than I thought I was over it all so that when we got home I "crashed" and Jim was still going strong! After about an hour nap, I decided I better walk for about 40 minutes then I felt better.

It was so good to know our kids were both thinking about their dad during the day and proud of him. For some reason it means alot to have your kids "keeping up with your life" and what is "happening" just as much as it means to them to have their parents "keeping up with" their lives and what is "happening". That is so hard to do, isn't it? We all have such busy lives that it is hard to schedule things where we can all work it into our schedules and, when you have worked so hard to do just that, it is a real "let-down" to realize that somewhere along the line someone misunderstood someone else and we all end up feeling frustrated. We are going through that right now as a family. One thing I really appreciate about our kids is how they try to forgive and forget and rebuild their relationship ... They have had some major hurts and disappointments between the two of them through the years, but they always try to work through them, put the past behind, and build new bridges in their relationship with each other. I have seen too many families let such things drive wedges between them to where they just stop talking to each other. I know the Lord helps, but we are human and sometimes our emotions make us believe things that aren't true ... like perhaps our loved one did something on purpose to hurt us. I know Sunshine has felt James has done that to her in the past and I know that James has felt Sunshine has done it to him as well. I just keep praying they keep on loving, forgiving, and growing in their relationship with each other. I know they will. I just wish I could make "life" easier for them. They are so precious ... so very precious to both their Dad and me.

I know my son will read this, and smile, and say "There's Mom, kinda preaching at me again. And yet he will take it well and love me anyways cause "I'm his mom". That's awesome! To feel assured I can just be "me" and he will accept it and love me as I am. I'm so blessed. I also know my daughter will most likely not read this. She is so busy with her job and her family pressures that she doesn't often get "on-line" ... not that she is not interested ... she just is pressured by the demands and "have-tos" of life. My husband would call it priorities. My daughter will call me almost every day and talk cause she can do "other things" while we talk and accomplish more in her time spent with me. My son will spend time blogging with me and others, and call on the cell phone usually when he is enroute ... but he has lots of pressures from his church responsibilities that demand his attention during many of those times he can call which require that time to be spent on others than family. But that's okay with ME, because when he does make contact with me ... It is so special. He helps me know I am loved and we sure are getting more and more "gut honest" with our feelings and understandings toward each other and "life" in general.

Relationships ... That is what makes life interesting, isn't it?

2005-09-19T04:46:00.000-07:00

MY "CHILD" PRAYS FOR ME!

A most amazing thing happened just now. I was just wrapping up my preparations for school and the phone rang. There on the other end was my "little girl", all grown up and ready to head off to teach a college class, saying, "Hi Mom. I called to pray for your day." WOW! What a joy to have my "child" identify with my frustrations of trying to find the balance of how to be a loving, kind, compassionate teacher and yet firm in demanding respect and self-control from my students! She has "been there and done that" and I know her heart knows the dilemma of my own. I feel empowered to face this day! Thanks, Sweetie, for blessing me with a prayer!

Love,
Mom

2005-09-18T18:25:00.000-07:00

TAKING SUGGESTIONS FROM OUR CHILDREN?

It is so hard to believe that my children are now grown adults .... PARENTS ... who have experience in this wild work-a-day world and actually know things that we (the parents) don't know! WOW! It boggles my mind.

I never dreamed that one day my daughter could teach me how to be a better, more effective teacher by sharing things she has learned in HER short lifetime of teaching thus far. It is so AWESOME! And I trust her advice and suggestions more than any other teacher's.

Well, tomorrow I planned on beginning my first ever behavior control/management program in my classroom but, after talking to Sunshine tonight, I believe I can make it through another day as I look forward to receiving an email from her with a plan she used that proved very successful. Lord, help me through tomorrow ...

2005-09-15T03:57:00.000-07:00

CHILDREN ARE UNPREDICTABLE!

Well, I thought I had my students under control after I gave them assigned seats on their second day in my class. I have never done that before in all my teaching career but it was either that or go insane! Well, the rest of that day was "heavenly" ... Well, at least close to that .. I just try to count my blessings. Then, yesterday, we were back to "rowdiness". I may have to change assigned seats at least every other day ... Who knows?

What causes a once "nice" child to suddenly go "out of control" on a given day. I had that happen with one of my students yesterday. He is a fun-loving, talkative, active little fellow. Once I got him assigned to a seat away from another instigator he did great. Then, yesterday, he was out of control and eventually led to punishment with the response of screaming in anger. I can't help but wonder what may have happened at home that set him off. Do parents realize how their actions and reactions to each other and their children will set the mood for the type of day they will have?

Well, I got up at 5:45 this morning, walked and talked with the Lord for 45 minutes, and am determined to have a good day. Lord, help me to give my students the love and understanding they need ... to be able to look, past their outward actions, to the heart that beats within them and nurture those hearts to their fullest potential. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" (Philippians 4:13)

2005-09-12T18:06:00.000-07:00

HEAVEN, HELP ME! A CLASSROOM FULL OF ORNERY BOYS!!!!

Today was my first day with my actual Kindergarten class I will be teaching this year. 25 children with 16 of them being boys ... and at least 5-6 ornery, active, talkative ... LOUD ... boys! My aide was pulled from my room to fill out paper work for the office during the morning when I needed her most ... I thought I was going to lose it! I felt so "out of control". It sure is a good thing I had an easy year with only 16 students last year ... otherwise I might have retired today with only 18 years of service! (smile)

Well, my principal came through for me and someone called in some extra "troops" to help me through about 45 minutes in the afternoon ... Then I felt I started getting back in control of the situation. I know it will be all right .. It's just this "training" time where the students test to discover my boundaries is going to be tough.

I rode my bike to take my hubby some water for his long run tonight after school. I don't know how he does it. I was whooped from riding my bike that far in the heat. He told me my "fatigue" is not from my morning exercise and/or the afternoon bike ride. I knew he was right. It is from the stress of this class I have to teach this year. If I wasn't exercising I probably would be far worse off since exercising always seems to lift my spirits.

Well, off to be at 9:30 AM so I can "rise and shine" and prepared for my little "angels" in children's clothing. "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13) This too shall pass .....

2005-09-07T18:21:00.000-07:00

RELAXATION BECAME A REALITY!

Labor Day weekend was a much needed and greatly enjoyed "runaway" for both my husband and I. We didn't have to go far (only about 45 minutes) but we truly enjoyed our time at Conneaut Lake Park and the "DoWopp Weekend". We met lots of new friends, saw over 300 classic cars and trucks, laughed over some of the "fun" events like the hoola hoop contest and enjoyed lots of good music and dancing! We even found time to just lay out on the lawn under a shade tree in the middle of the afternoon and take a nap! We visited a real nice church on Sunday morning and took a nice walk to a restaurant to eat. We both came back home refreshed.

Then, Monday afternoon, we were blessed with a visit from our son, daughter-in-law, and grandbaby Halle. She is now 2&1/2 months old and even more beautiful than her pictures. It was such a blessing to be able to hold her and help care for her. She smiles a lot more than most babies her age. It was so good to have a day or so to enjoy our kids. We are so blessed to have children that make that special effort to see us. It is not easy with their busy schedules, as well as ours, but I so appreciate them working it in. Thanks James and Kelly! You are AWESOME! We love you SO much.

2005-09-01T15:52:00.000-07:00

FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL ALMOST COMPLETE!

Tomorrow will be the last day for our first Kindergarten Screening Week. We had 28 of the 55 enrolled Kindergarten children this week. Next week we will have the other 27. It looks like my class will have anywhere from 26-28 students and I would estimate that at least half of them will qualify for Title 1. This will be a great adjustment for me since I had my smallest class ever last year of only 16 students. It will be quite a challenge for me to try to help the Title 1 kids get the extra help they will need while I try to enrich the higher spectrum of my class. One child in my class is so "with it" that we are wondering if he could be a "child prodigy". I pray I can keep him challenged and help him grow to his full potential.

My "honey" is taking me away for the weekend so we can have a little "R&R". Church needs have been very demanding on us the entire month of August and we both are excited about "escaping" for a few days. We are even more excited as we realize that the day we return our son and family are coming in and we get to see our grandbaby Halle. We haven't seen her for 2 months ... since the week she was born. The pictures we have seen on hers and her mommy's blogs have been so helpful but not the same as "the real thing", ya know?

Yeah for Labor Day ... for us a chance to relax!

2005-08-26T04:47:00.000-07:00

BAC K TO SCHOOL...BACK TO WORK!

I did not choose teaching as my profession due to having the summers off but the older I get the more I appreciate this "fringe benefit". Yes, I have worked on curriculum planning throughout the summer, but it has been at my own pace ... at my own convenience. Today I must report to school by 8:00 AM and work until 3:30 ... and so it will be through May.

This appears to be a promising year for new challenges ... among them is having a large class after being spoiled with 16 last year.

Well, duty calls me, so I better skeedaddle!

2005-08-19T12:09:00.000-07:00

DID YOU EVER HAVE A COUPLE DAYS JUST "DISAPPEAR"?

I am not sure what happened to Wednesday and Thursday and this morning ... It all seems a blur. We have spent so much time travelling to and from the hospitals in the past week (for 7 people associated with our church) that it has just flown.

The past 24 hours (except for sleeping time) have been wrapped up in two precious ladies. The faith, peace of heart, and high expectations they have had as they have (between the two of them) faced: A husband's serious illness and hospitalization, a personal stroke and emergency open heart surgery; Within the last year finding out she was at Stage 4 of cancer, Going through Chemo and, today, having the upper portion of her cancerous lung removed (with a prognosis of soon being cancer free! ) etc., etc. ... have blessed me beyond words. It is a privilege to be their pastor and wife. And, praise the Lord, He brought them both through safely and all seems to be going well for both of them. God is good!

What is really awesome is how Jim's secular job at Kennametal "closed down" the past two days, allowing him to be able to be with these two ladies! They had a major electrical problem at the plant which has shut them down until Sunday! God always works all things together for the good!

Well, before anyone else calls to send us out running again, Jim is finally getting a chance to mow the lawn and I better do some more laundry and clean!

I continue to think on what the lady with cancer said concerning the 23rd Psalm, the week prior to her cancer surgery: "God does not say he will deliver us from the "valley of the shadow of death" but he does promise to be with us through the valley ... all the way." It has given a whole new enlightenment to me on a passage of scripture I have read and quoted most of my life. Isn't God good? WOW!

2005-08-16T07:20:00.000-07:00

LIVING FOR OTHERS

Over the past week (which was also our VBS week) it seemed my entire life revolved around others ... Their problems, their sicknesses, their hurts, their joys, their stresses, their frustrations ... their past, present and futures. More and more I realize my spiritual gifts of compassion, encouragement, and servanthood ... I am the happiest when I am able to minister to others. That is my greatest joy and fulfillment!

Yesterday, outside of a school obligation in the morning, was "my day" to do things "for me". It was a good relaxing day ... a nice evening with my husband too. It was my first day in 3 weeks that I did not specifically "exercise" but that was alright, I just picked it back up today. I felt happy yesterday and I realized that, although I "hunger" to minister to others, I also need time for "me" and for "us" (my husband and family).

This morning I spent my waking hours making phone calls to more people who are hurting, sick, fearful ... just needing encouragement. I plan to visit some of these people this week, sometimes on my own and sometimes along with my husband when he is not working, and hopefully be able to go with one of them to the hospital when she has surgery. Then, as I took my "walk and talk" with the Lord, I realized that I will not have the luxury of free time to invest in "others" as I begin truly preparing for the school year next week ... This saddens me and I know there will be a great void as I return to work and lack the time to "invest in the lives of others" as much.

Suddenly, I finally came to the realization of the sadness and discouragement .. the great void ... my husband has faced all these years being a bivocational pastor. Even working days will not help him have the time to "be there" for all the growing needs that exist in our church family that he has pastored (supposedly parttime) for the past 10 years. It was difficult when we had only 20 in the church but as we now average 65 or 70, I see how impossible it seems to him. How his shepherd's heart must ache for his flock ... longing to be with them not only in the bad times but also through the good ... but his work in the factory does not allow him to do all his hearts urges him to do! I have seen him too often push himself to try to still "do it all" and one time it even led to physical problems that forced him to "slow down". I know he feels guilty taking time for himself to even continue his running and working toward his marathon this fall and, if it wasn't for me trying (I am not always successful) to "put my foot down" and make him take time for himself, his goals, (and me), he would constantly be with his "flock" as every true shepherd longs to be.

As a teacher, I get my summers "off" to do more ministering. But as a factory worker, he has no break and his "heartbeat" and calling is so much greater and deeper than mine ... My heart aches as I realize his dilemma and there is nothing I can do to help him except to pray "Lord, grant "him" the courage to accept the things he cannot change; to change the things he can; and the wisdom to know the difference." (Serenity Prayer-revised)

The solution? Who knows. We have struggled with this for 10 years but I truly never realized how difficult this must be for Jim ... how torn he must be. Sure he preaches every Sunday, but I now understand what he so often says, "I don't want to be just a preacher ... anyone can do that. I want to be a pastor ... a shepherd."

It would be easier if we had a noncaring church family and lots of unsurmountable problems in our church ... easier to "move on". I am thankful the church has grown and God has allowed us to be a part of that but the demands are so much greater and so many more families need their "shepherd". The dilemma is: Are we helping more my staying and loving them or is that being selfish? A church of this size, especially, needs a fulltime pastor to not only love them, but also to "be there" for them and theirs whenever needed ... someone who is available every day, throughout the day. Otherwise, slowly, they will fall away. We have seen this happen already the last time we reached this number and only God was able to rebuild it. I believe they could financially take on a fulltime pastor now, even though so many of them struggle financially in their personal lives and the church, in general, seems afraid to take that step. But I realize, as long as we are willing to let things "ride", they will, because ... they love us so! They see no need to change ... They don't know what they need and what is best for them because they have never had anything else. Sometimes the best way you can show your love for someone is to "let go". Sometimes you must sacrifice your own desires for the sake of those you love ... so they can grow to be all God wants them to be. Sometimes we must plant the seed, but another may be needed to water it and help it to grow.

I remember the days I had to "let go" of my children. I would have loved to have kept them "under my wing" to protect them but I knew that was not for their best interests. We had loved them faithfully (as we still do), raised them in the church, planted the spiritual seed in their lives, and done our best to teach them right from wrong and how to survive in this world. As a result of "letting go", I have watched them grow - emotionally, spiritually, in love and maturity. They never would have grown so well if I had insisted on them never leaving me. I would have stifled their growth from becoming all they have become... all they will become. How scary that is ... to let those you love so dearly out of your own constant watch and care. To entrust them into the care of others. But how exciting to see them grow, especially to be "like Jesus" ... "in wisdom, and in stature, and in favor with God and man." What a blessing to know that even though we cannot be there ... our Heavenly Father will "never leave them nor forsake them" - We can pray his "umbrella of protection" upon them and know He "is faithful to do all we ask" of Him.

Pray for us as we seek God's direction. Pray for our church ... our wonderful church family ... and that we can have strength to "be there" for them as God leads.

2005-08-13T11:30:00.000-07:00

STILL ADJUSTING ... BUT ... THIS IS GOOD!

Well, we are ending our second week of Jim being on "day turn" and it just gets better every day. He is doing little "sweet" things for me that he hasn't often done in recent years like opening the car door for me and buying me a dozen red roses "just because". But, what is really awesome, and I still can't believe it is true, he comes to my aid almost "immediately" (if at all possible) to do things for me and come to my aid when I need help ... Things that used to be put on his "To Do" list and I never had a clue when (or if) they would ever be done. I keep waiting for it to "wear off" ... but so far it is just getting better! I am so thankful to have him "back" in spirit ... the man I fell in love with and married. Ya know, I have always tried to "be there" for Jim to help him when he needed me, but now I look for opportunities to do it even more. I was even able to give him a suggestion to how to solve a problem outside today, and I was so excited that he used it! It made me feel good I could help make his tasks easier.

Well, tomorrow will technically end my "3 Week Body Makeover" program. I have lost about 4 pounds. I can't tell by measuring that I have lost any inches but my clothes are fitting better, I am definitely stronger in my arms and legs, I can walk comfortably at a much faster pace, I have improved my cardiovascular ability and I feel good about my accomplishments! I am determined to continue on with this exercise program, with adaptations as needed, and watching more closely what I eat in order to establish a healthier lifestyle. I am almost to the point that I am about to do away with taking a multivitamin and at least one of the medicines I am presently on. It is exciting what self-discipline can do!

2005-08-12T09:28:00.000-07:00

EMPATHY - SHARING ANOTHER'S EMOTIONS OR FEELINGS

Praying for blessings and comfort to all who share in the loss of a precious little angel.

Have you ever had someone say, "I know how you feel?" and you feel like screaming at them, "No, you don't know how I feel! You have never gone through what I am going through!"

I think many of us have. When I read Kelly's (my daughter-in-law's) blog today about a couple who lost a set of twins at, or close to, birth and just had a miscarriage, I knew that it was not just a normal passing on of a prayer request for that couple. I knew Kelly probably relived her loss of little Elijah, even as I relived my loss of our little Joshua James. In fact, when James and Kelly lost their little Elijah, I found myself often referring to him as "Joshua" when I spoke about him for probably a month after because I was grieving my loss once again while I was grieving theirs, and my new one as a grandparent, at the same time. If you have ever been pregant and carried a child any length of time, then lost it, you know the heart wrenching pain this couple is going through ... You can truly empathize. I don't know how people could survive such losses on this earth if they don't know the Lord ... I know that I couldn't have! I pray that this couple will find the comfort and peace that only God can give them through this painful time. And I pray that they will not give up, but "keep the faith" and one day hold a "little bundle of joy" in their arms.

Dear Jesus, take care of our little ones in Heaven and on earth. Amen.

2005-08-11T08:10:00.000-07:00

SO BLESSED!!

Sunday night in church we shared the ways that God speaks to us strongest as individuals. I shared that for me it is through His Word and through nature. Then, yesterday, as I walked up to our house on returning from seeing my newly born great-niece, it happened! It was as though all nature ... the birds, deer, wind blowing, trees, flowers, blue sky, clouds, sun ... everything seemed to lift my heart in praise to God. It was unmistakeably HIS "still, small voice"!! It is in times like that when I actually slow down (which is rough in the rushing pace of everyday life for all of us) and "wait on the Lord" that He blesses me through and through.

My mind seemed to fly back through my lifetime as I thought of God's intervention and moving in my life to bring me to this day, this moment of time:

I thought of my parents who always believed in me and were successful in instilling in me a good self-esteem (something I never seemed able to be fully successfull in doing for my own children).

I thought of my many life choices, especially the one I made in decliniing a fully paid tuition to Moody Bible College (a gift offered by my German teacher) to attend Mount Vernon Nazarene College where I met my husband. That one choice sent my entire life down a totally different road than what I would have had because if I had never met Jim ... I wouldn't be the "me" I am today. That's why I love the poem, "Two roads diverged in the woods and I, I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference!"

I thought of those financially tight beginning years of our lives - especially the one time we only had crackers in our house to eat for supper ... but I had a husband that believed in the Almighty God and His providing care as I did ... and we survived just fine because we had each other, and our faith, and our committed love - in richness or poorness!

I thought of the joy we felt as God blessed us with 3 children. Even though He chose to take one right back "home" with Him at birth, He allowed us the privilege of caring for the other two and was always there to put His "umbrella of protection" upon them when we could not "be there" to protect and guide them.

I thought of all our different ministries, churches, jobs, friends and family ... the bad times and the good times ... God was always there to "work all things together for good".

I thought of: How God blessed our children with good, loving spouses and precious little ones ... our grandchildren! How he has, and continues to, bless them in their lives and choices even as He has blessed and led us through the years.

And then I looked around our property that we bought only 11 years ago ... our first and only home we have ever owned, our fields, our trees, and even our new building... and I burst into tears of gratitude to God and praised Him for His blessings! I thanked Him for all He has done and for entrusting into our care all our possessions which I know are His and could disappear tomorrow ... Yet I would still trust Him .. I would still love Him ... I would always believe in Him!

I remember, as a young wife and mother, struggling financially and being so blessed by God's people showering us with their love, with clothing, food, and even monetary gifts so often because ... God led them to do so. And I remember praying that God would allow us to be able to be on the "giving" side some day ... and He has answered that prayer. I don't know for how long, but it sure does bring unsurpassing joy to have the ability to bless others as we have been blessed. It has helped me realize the trueness of the saying, "It is more blessed to give than to receive."

Yes, I am TRULY BLESSED! I could never record all the blessings of my Lord and Savior but He knows my heart and that is all that is needed.

With all our parents gone, Jim and I realize we are now the "older folks" at our family reunions, in church, and most places we go. I am becoming more and more aware of how life is a cycle. We are born and would never survive if it was not for the loving care and provision of those we call our "parents" and the home, food, clothing, and guidance they provide for us. We grow, so innocent, as children. We rebel and strive for independence, especially in our toddler and teenage years. We mature (hopefully) and set out with great ambition and joy to "make a home of our own". Then we become the "parents" and the cycle begins again. But what about "our parents"? Do they cease to exist? No, we still love them ... It is just we have our "own family" now and all the pressures, responsibilities, demands, and joys they bring.

Meanwhile, the now "grandparents" seem to return to the childlike state in their "old age". Due to these physical bodies ... these earthly shells ... growing old and weary, having more illnesses ... diseases ... dementia, etc. ... They may not be able to: get around as well without our help, remember things, think as clearly, take care of themselves and their personal needs without our help. They almost return to that "baby" state of needing a "parent" to care for them and their needs and since their parents are gone, their children become their parents. The scriptures even talk about this: "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. (I Cor. 13:11) I cannot think of the reference of another passage that says, essentially: "The day is coming, and now is, when others will lead you where you do not wish to go ..." I know that that passage refers to the "last days" prior to Christ's return but it is also so true of the "winter" of our lives when we can no longer care for ourselves, struggling to maintain our independence by "doing it ourselves", yet having to be cared for and directed by our children. LIFE ... it may seem unfair, but is what we have on this earth. We all pray we will never come to that "state of being" but do we do all we can to delay it? Do we eat healthy and exercise regularly to try to keep these bodies in the best condition possible until the Lord chooses to take us home? That is my goal as I have nearly completed my "3 Week Body Makeover" and sought to create for myself a healthier lifestyle in diet and exercise for as long as I am on this earth.

I love I Corinthians 9! This may be taking a passage out of context a bit but, to me, it applies to living a healthier life, both physically (through a good diet and exercise) and spiritually (through daily reading God's Word and prayer) : "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore, I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." (I Cor. 9:24-27)

God is good!

2005-08-09T07:32:00.000-07:00

WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND

Something happened last night that made me think back to our Sunday School lesson on Sunday. We were studying Ezekiel 18:2 that says, "What do you people mean by quoting this proverb about the land of Israel: 'The fathers eat sour grapes, and the children's teeth are set on edge?'" During class we discussed "proverbs" or sayings that our parents often said and/or lived by like: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." "Don't judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes."

Last night my mind started thinking on some others that seem to be somewhat related. How many parents, when they come to the end of their patience, have said to their child: "I hope when you grow up you have a child just like you!"? Then there are the sayings, "Out of the mouth of babes come words that Mom and Dad should never have uttered in the first place" and "The leaf never falls far from the tree." We laugh, but aren't these true? How many of us sigh as we look at our children in frustration and say, "Why did they pick up all my bad traits and habits, and not my good?"

Last, but not least, I shared a "proverb" with the Sunday School class my mother sometimes told me: "What goes around, comes around."The older I get the more I realize the truth of this statement and the ones in the paragraph above. My son is so much like me it is freaky at times. I see in him things that reflect what I unconsciously modeled in what I would say, do, and how I would act and react in certain situations. Thank the Lord, many of these are good reflections, but there are some I wish he had not picked up ... I now get to feel what others felt when I unconsciously modeled these things for him.

Sometimes, as we look back on our lives as parents and as children, we wish we could do it over, especially in the area of relationships. We often say, "If only I had known..." But life gives us only one "shot". For instance, as a mother, if I had been a teacher first and known more%

2005-08-09T07:29:00.000-07:00

2005-08-08T11:52:00.000-07:00

I WILL CONTINUE TO PURSUE MY GOAL!

What an awesome weekend! After a week of Jim finally being on Permanent "Day Turn", we decided to celebrate this past weekend by "running away" to Conneaut Lake Friday night and Saturday. I did not get my 20 minute speed walk scheduled exercises in on Saturday but we were so active I believe it made up for it.

Sunday, I resumed my scheduled walk/exercise program ... I will continue to pursue my goal! It was so much more fun to have Jim awake and not having to get his "nap" for work Sunday night. We took a young man (our "adopted son" - Marc) with us out to the high school track and they jogged while I walked for an entire hour! It was a little on the hot side but we had a nice breeze and it was fun to be "together" on a Sunday afternoon.

Today I played it "lazy" again, sleeping in until about 7:45. I've decided this will need to stop and I plan on getting up at least by 7:00 from now on this week. With my exercise goals I need to take advantage of the extra hours I have available to me to exercise and still clean house, do some reading & planning for school, as well as just relax. VBS is this week so my evenings are already committed which makes my day shorter.

I spent quite a bit of time on the phone today fulfilling mentoring responsibilities and got a call letting me know I am again a great-aunt! Little Leah Faith was born yesterday morning to Dawn and Aaron, Aaron James and Abbey. Abbey is so excited to have her wishes for a baby sister come true!

Well, there is still much to be done before VBS so I will close for now.

2005-08-05T05:20:00.000-07:00

MAGICAL 3'S and the FUN OF NUMBERS!

While talking to my daughter yesterday she told me about a realization that came to her the other day. On August 9th her son Canaan will be 3 months old (now weighing in at 12 pounds 9 and 1/2 oz. and 23" long), on August 10th her daughter Adelaide will be 3 years old, and on August 11 Sunshine herself will be 30 years old and all 3 birthdays will occur within a 3 day timeframe! Strange, huh? We have often talked of how her motherhood has been much like mine since She was my firstborn - a girl - born on August 11th and Adelaide was her firstborn - a girl - born on August 10th. James was my second child - a boy - born May 31 and Canaan was her second child - a boy - born May 9th. The only difference is she had an extra year between her children. Strange but COOL!

Well, another day has been completed of my "3 Week Body Makeover" and I am having soreness in areas I never have had soreness in my life ... the balls of my feet! But it doesn't seem to hurt when I walk ... mainly when I touch them with my hand and occasionally when a type of cramping pain shoots through them when I am sitting ... Probably telling me to get up and move again! (smile)

I have shopping to do today for upcoming birthdays and an anniversary so I better get out the door! "Be stong in the Lord and in His mighty power." ( Ephesians 6:10)

2005-08-04T07:39:00.000-07:00

OVER HALF WAY THERE!

I am so excited to realize I have been able to stick with this exercise program and I am feeling better daily. Although I have lost very little weight I have built up my cardiovascular ability tremendously. Now I am trying to figure out what I will do when I complete this "3 Week Body Makeover" in order to maintain the improvements I have made in my overall health.

I've learned a lot about health over the past year since I subscribed to Prevention magazine. I know that any exercise program or diet cannot be a "fad" that comes and goes but must develop into being an overall new lifestyle. I started a change in the eating habits of my lifestyle well over a year and a half ago to eat mainly chicken and other white meats with very little red meat and to include a lot more fiber, fresh fruits and vegetables, along with 8-10 glasses of water a day ... and that alone has improved my overall health. Now all I have to do is add in a better maintainence walking program when this is completed.

Too bad I didn't start all of this when I was 20 years younger and it was a lot easier to lose weight and get in shape. I never realized how much my metabolism would slow down the older I got ... especially after 30. So, if you still are around that magical age and have some changes you want to make in your health and lifestyle, don't put it off like I did. Today is the day! This is a Grandma who plans to be able to take her grandkids backpacking when she is in her 60's and 70's!

2005-08-03T05:45:00.000-07:00

REAPING THE BENEFITS OF A HUSBAND ON DAY TURN

I pray this is not a dream! Jim seems to have more interest in helping me with "little things" and energy to do it "now" instead of 6 months later. For instance, last night my new cheese slicer broke. I was ready to pitch it and Jim offered to fix it. Even though I told him not to bother (cause I am so used to him being too tired and "stretched thin" to mess with such minute items of need) he still took it upon himself to seek out the tools and materials needed, fix it, and place it in my hands within the half hour after it broke! He is my "hero"! (smile) I have often told him that when he has come to my aid but I have a feeling I will be saying it even more frequently. I am so excited to not just be his "helpmate" but to have my helpmate back in my life. Not that he has not always tried to "be there" for me but it was not always achieved in a "timely manner" nor as willingly ... actually excitedly ... as he completed this task on my behalf. I do believe that the man I married has come back to me ... one with energy and joy of living. Now I am starting to wonder if I will be able to keep up with him! (smile) Ya know, perhaps that is what gave me the energy to get out of bed earlier today in order to wave goodbye to him at the door!

My walking and exercises are completed for the day and now I must go take pictures the progress on our building for my Honey. Have a great day and do something special for Your Helpmate. God bless.

2005-08-02T06:55:00.000-07:00

WE CAN DO ALL THINGS ... THROUGH HIM WHO GIVES US STRENGTH!

Day 9 of my 3 Week Body Makeover has been completed! Unfortunately I left my book at the church last night so I had to do the Tummy Toning exercises from memory so I just added a few others I learned a long time ago from some physical therapy I had to go through.

I must be truthful. I do not know if I would have the energy or fortitude to complete this plan if I was working right now. I never realized when I chose my career of being a school teacher what a blessing it would become to me as I got older and just wanted a time of rest to "do what I want". Others went into their teaching careers with "summer's off" being one of their primary reasons. I always thought they were "crazy". I love to teach so much. But now I am really appreciating that benefit. Even though I do still work in the summer preparing for the upcoming year and sometimes taking workshops, I am in control of when and what I do in planning my daily schedules.

I recently became aware that my blogs are being posted as being completed 3 hours earlier than they are done. For instance, right now it is indicating I am up, have completed my exercises, and am ready to start my day all before 7:00 AM! That's cool! But it is actually 10:00 AM. I also realized this morning that I put my age in my blog yesterday as 53 when I am actually only 52. Most women lie about their age and say they are younger than they really are and here I went and made myself older! Unreal! Guess it is because I believe you never need to "act your age". You are only as old as you allow yourself to believe and feel in your heart. Age is no excuse for slowing down in trying new adventures and challenging activities. That, and hanging around with youth, is what will keep you young. Working with teens in the church and teaching Kindergarten have kept my eyes open to the simple, fun things of life. I plan to never change!

Well, the day awaits me! Our new building now has half of a roof completed so I am going to go take some more pictures.

"Help us O Lord our God, for we rest on You." 2 Chronicles 16:6-13

"No one is stronger than the one who depends on God." (Daily Bread July 18, 2005)

2005-08-01T06:58:00.000-07:00

THIS IS IT!

As my husband climbed out of bed at 6:00 AM to get ready for work I realized "This is it!" He is actually a "day turn" worker now! This is how each morning will feel ... except, once I get through the laziness of my summer off from school, I plan to start getting up with him (or at least by 6:30) to wave goodbye to him from the door ... After all, that is the "tradition" of our lives together! I have always tried to be there for hiim (and he for me) waving goodbye whenever we must part for the day.

The men are back at work on our new building this morning and I am in charge of taking progress pictures since Jim is at work ... my mission for the day. Why? Because I love him!

I completed my 8th day of my "3 Week Body Makeover" plan and was shocked to see that, even though I had read the directions over and over and over, I had not completed the exercises correctly this past week. I was only doing 1 repetition of a set of doing each exercise 10-12 times when I was supposed to do 3 repetitions. I kept thinking it was quite easy to do ... except for the pushups! Then I thought back to last Tuesday when I could barely move. I doubt I could have completed 3 repetitions even if I had tried and if I had done so I probably would have literally not been able to walk! I wonder if there should be an age limit on those who attempt this routine? I consider myself to be quite "fit" for a woman 53 years old but I do not think I could have done the first week as directed. This week I seem to be a bit stronger and hopefully I will be able to do it correctly. At least I have done the walking routines correctly! The scales do not inidicate I have lost any weight but, when we took a bike ride last night, Jim noted that my endurance had increased! I was able to ride at a faster speed without getting so winded as I used to all the time. That made me feel good. Not just that my efforts to adhere to this program had shown some benefit but that my husband noticed it and complimented me on it! We all need to work on praising our spouses more if we are honest about it. Our Gary Smalley "Relationships" videos that we watch with our small group from church always seem to help us become more aware of things like that. You are never too young or too old to learn and improve!

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." ) Phillipians 4:13

2005-07-31T15:18:00.000-07:00

WHAT A WONDERFUL WEEKEND!!!

Jim (my husband) and I went to the Sharon PA car show, ate with our friends and enjoyed a leisurely, "do whatever we want" Saturday. I did not post a blog but I DID EXERCISE and keep up with my plan.

Today we had a church picnic after church. We had at least 60 show up ... more than we ever had before! It was so good to be with "family". They are a great group of people and I love them as much as my blood relatives. God is so good!

When we got home I immediately did my walk for the day. Now Jim and I have the evening to spend together because he does not have to get a "power nap" before work since he is no longer on midnights! Whoopie! A movie maybe and probably a bike ride lie before me so I'm outta here to spend some time with my Honey! (smile)

2005-07-29T11:49:00.000-07:00

RETURN TO "NORMAL" MARRIED LIFE?

After 18 years of working on midnights (the graveyard shift) at a factory, my husband has finally secured a day turn position starting now! Well, it is actually effective Monday, August 1st, but he had a vacation day planned for today. We both are very excited but he is ecstatic! I cannot even fathom working that many years on midights, trying to "flip over" your sleep schedule for weekends, not being able to sleep well and truly rest most days, often unable to think clearly or function to the best of your ability ... going to bed when the those you love and the rest of the world are getting out of bed and starting their day. WOW! I hear there are a few souls in this world that truly enjoy that shift but many more abhor it. It changes a person. I realized that when my husband did have about 2 years on a special project in the midst of those 18 years that required him to work days. During those 2 years I rediscovered "my true love". We have worked hard on communicating since that time to make him aware of when he is "slipping away" into the numbness that accompanies midnight turn. It has been a long battle but it has been so worth it! I thank God for finally answering my prayer. I have no idea why His previous answer was always "Wait" but it is not mine to question why. He is in control. I have trusted Him through all the difficulties of my life and I know, without a doubt, that "all things work together for good to those who love the Lord" (Romans 8:28). I do know His grace is sufficient and when I was truly "at the end of my rope" (and my husband was too) the Lord gave him that special project to give us a chance to "regroup" and gain strength for the following years and all they would hold. God is good!

Our new Morton building started going up two days ago and it amazes me how quickly it is happening ... They make it look so easy! If you are interested, my husband has posted pictures of the progress on his site at Webshots.

And, finally, in reguards to my "3 Week Body Makeover Plan" ... I am still on target! I had to deal with some more soreness as I added some heavier weights into my routine but it is nothing like at the beginning. Two more days and I will be one-third of the way through!

THOUGHT FOR TODAY: If you want to be rich, count all the things you have
that money cannot buy. Go ahead, count your blessings! Name them one by one. Go with God!

2005-07-28T07:07:00.000-07:00

GOING STRONG AND FEELING BETTER DAILY

I have just completed my 4th day of my "3 Week Body Makeover" plan. I noticed that I was able to go up and down stairs yesterday with a little less pain, alternating my steps, and when I got up this morning I was almost back to normal! I am feeling more energetic and good about myself. I sure hope the soreness doesn't come back today since I did my interval speed walks today. Last time I did them was the day that I ended up hardly being able to move! I know I could never have gotten this far without the accountability of "blogging". Thank you for listening and pray for me that I can complete this goal!

2005-07-27T20:07:00.000-07:00

GOD PROMISES HE WILL ALWAYS BE THERE

I watched what a man might call a "sappy" Christian love romance movie called "Love Comes Softly" on TV tonight. The setting was the frontier and the characters were pioneers trying to settle in the West. When the main man character lost his barn to a fire in the story, the main lady character asked him, "How can you believe in a God that would allow horrible things to happen to you (such as the death of his wife, the loss of his barn and all his grain)?" What he answered was such a simple but awesome answer that I wanted to share it with you all because we all go through losses ( I just lost my Mom) and difficult times and no matter how strong we are in our Christian faith sometimes we are hurting so bad we just may shout at God "Why did you let this happen?" I will try to quote his answer as closely as possible:

" I love Missy (his daughter) more than anything in this world. There is not a thing I wouldn't do for her. But let's suppose that one day she and I were walking side by side and she tripped, fell, and hurt herself? Did I allow that to happen? No, and she knew I did not want that to happen to her. She also knew that I was there to pick her up, hold her, comfort her and try to heal her. It is not a question of "why God allows bad things to happen to us and those we love". But it is the assurance that when such things do happen He promises to always be there to pick us up, comfort us and heal us."

Is that AWESOME, or what? God is so good. With that I say "Good Night".

2005-07-27T07:28:00.000-07:00

I SHALL PREVAIL! DAY 3 ACCOMPLISHED!

I was in so much discomfort yesterday I wondered if I should take a day to rest today. I had to laugh at myself as I found myself going down steps literally one step at a time, reminding myself of some of my Kindergarten children who have done that, and I could hear myself saying, "Alternate those feet". But, alas, it was beyond my physical capabilities to do so! So I sat on the couch most of the day doing what I call "brain work" as I studied Teacher's Manuals to prepare for the oncoming school year. I even put ice packs on my legs last night for about a half hour or so. Then my hubby and I danced around the room a bit and it seemed to shake the muscles loose ... some. I took an Ibuprofen and Tylenol PM and literally fell into bed.

This morning I was shocked to find I could "alternate my feet" (barely, but I did it!) going down the steps. As I stepped on the treadmill I wondered if I would regret this day's routines but it actually felt good to be walking! The body shaping exercises are not that strenuous except for the pushups. (No, I am not yet ready to send a videotape to my son of that endeavor as he requested!) However, I actually made it through 10 pushups; and that was without securing my feet under the couch to help ... Yes, I confess! I did that Monday! Where there's a will there's a way! At least I did them!! 3 days down and 18 more to go. I shall prevail!!!!!!

2005-07-26T08:17:00.000-07:00

GROWING OLD; GROWING UP ... Physically and Spiritually

In my devotions yesterday I read "Old age is the season when we can give ourselves to 'soul-making' as the Quakers say. We can concentrate on getting to know God better and cultivating character traits that make us more like Him. Age breaks down our strength and energy and strips us of our busyness. It's God's way of getting us to slow down so we'll make more time for Him. We can think more deeply about life, about ourselves, and about others."

In some ways I agree with that but, in other ways, I do not. Now that I am nearing "old age" I find I do tend to think more deeply about life, relationships, and others. If we wait until we are "old" to concentrate on getting to know God better and develop Christlikeness it will be much more difficult to "change" and we will have let precious opportunities to be "used by God" slip by us in our "youth". If I had waited until I was "old" to begin trying to develop a healthier lifestyle in eating properly and excercising, my body would be much more difficult to "train" and my poor lifestyle in my youth might inflict upon my body physical complications, diseases, etc. to appear in the "fall of my life" that may have been avoided had I strived towards a healthy lifestyle early in my life.

On this second day of my "3 Week Body Makeover" plan I must admit I am having quite a bit of stiff joints, sore muscles, and general difficulty accomplishing any significant movement very quickly after any sustained period of inactivity. It would have been so much better had I maintianed my healthy habits I had finally established in my 40's but let slip over the past month or so.

I am so thankful I have continued my "healthy habits" in my spiritual walk since I was 12 years old. Sure there have been times I would slip and miss some days in reading God's Word and talking to Him but those days are far and few between these past 3 years or so because I "hunger" for the Lord. I truly want to know Him and become more like Him day by day but it would have been so much more difficult had I not started this journey early in my life ... not Impossible, but more difficult. I am so thankful I did not wait for "old age" to slow me down to begin growing in God.

I have seen many grow to "old age" and never see the rush of their lives "slow down". In fact my father-in-law once marvelled at how he ever had the time to do everything before he retired because he was finding it hard to "get it all done" once he did retire. During our vacation, we met a Christian woman who was 93 years old and still quite spunky. I am sure glad she did not wait for "old age" to slow her down! So we must not wait for, not depend on, "old age" to slow us down to make more time to get to truly know God and allow Him to mold us into His Likeness just as we must not wait until "old age" to seek a healthier lifestyle. We must begin TODAY.

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity." (I Timothy 4:12 NIV)

May those who come behind us find us faithful!

2005-07-25T10:50:00.000-07:00

3 WEEK BODY MAKEOVER - I AM BACK!

Seven weeks ago today I began a "3 Week Body Makeover" plan I found in the August 04 Prevention Magazine. That night my mother passed away. Needless to say, that not only started, but also ended, that plan all in one day. It seems the summer has flown by and life has been crazy but .... it is time to start again!

I love to walk and this plan just appealed to me as a way to tone up those flabby areas that no one really sees but me. (Thank the Lord!) I also know that I feel so much more energetic when I am in a regular exercise routine (which has not been the case recently). (So I started afresh today. It is my hope that blogging my progress will keep me accountable to my goal. My goal? Not to lose a certain amount of weight or take off a specific number of inches from any certain area (although both would be welcome by-products) but get myself into a healthier life style by using this plan as a kickoff.

The 2.2 mile easy walk was most enjoyable and the body-shaping exercises were not too bad until I got to the last one: pushups! I never had much luck doing them in high school and it does not appear I am much more successful now that I am in my 50's! But I "pushed" through to the end. Whew! One day down and only 20 to go!

I remember the physical discomfort this caused me the last time I started this exercise plan and yet I willingly did it again knowing what muscle pain lies before me tomorrow. Is this insanity?

I am just thankful I have the amenities of air conditioning and a treadmill to help me in this endeavor. The humidity, deer flies and mosquitoes would cause me even greater discomfort in the midst of my exercises and I would still have the muscles soreness to deal with the next day. You'd never believe that I love to backpack and rough it in the mountains, would you? Oh, well, I shall prevail!

2005-07-21T12:15:00.000-07:00

THOUGHTS ABOUT CHILDREN LEAVING HOME

My daughter and family dropped in last night on their way to her in-laws for her sister-in-laws wedding. One more family joins the ranks of empty-nesters. Sure, once our children leave for college, it is actually just the "two of us" the majority of the time. But you still feel they are "yours" until they marry and/or move out totally on their own. That is when you realize you are no longer the sole provider of their needs. In fact, that young man or young woman that "takes them away" will be able to fill their needs to a deeper level than parents ever can. Then you just pray that they and their spouses will always work to keep their relationship as alive and fulfilling as that first day they met, knowing that if they don't they can also hurt and cripple each other to a deeper level than we as parents ever could. I am so thankful the Lord gave us a wonderful son-in-law and daughter-in-law who have the same Christian heritage and values as our children have developed. I am so thankful their parents did such a great job of raising them. God is good!

THOUGHTS ABOUT THE LOSS OF MY MOTHER, ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE, DEATH

In memory of my mother - Juanita Ruth Clouse - "Nita" to many

It was so good to see, hold and play with my grandchildren again. Since they left this morning and I walked by my mother's chair I was reminded how God helped me through my loss of her by giving me a new grandson the month before she passed on and a new granddaughter just a couple weeks after she passed on. New life ... the "final rest" of a life that is over on earth but going on to live in Heaven ... and another new life. Without her these great-grandchildren ... my grandchildren ... would never have been.

Death is only a part of life on earth, and so welcome when you come to a point (as my mother did) where you can no longer do those things you have always loved to do and begin to experience things you never wanted to experience.

One by one over the past year I have seen my mother lose the ability to do those things she always loved to do: be able to remember not only those things of her past but also the last five minutes ( and especially that she had two more great-grandchildren on the way ... Alzheimers Disease robs you of your memory and, thus, your self-esteem since you lose control of your world), be independent and live on her own to come and go as she pleased (living in a nursing home can be so boring to one who still has the zest of life), have a dog, drive a car, travel to visit her loved ones ... especially her grandchildren, give people a "hard time" by teasing them (She had an awesome sense of humor but a "different" way of teasing ... Once you understood her way of teasing you loved her because you knew she loved everyone and never wanted to hurt anyone. She would always say, "You gotta love me the way I am". It was evident she was not about to change! smile), go shopping with her daughter, go out to eat and be able to eat, be able to walk without a cane ( She loved to go for walks but eventually found the cane even to be of little help.

Then she started to experience more and more things that she had prayed she would never go through: falling and not being able to understand why she kept falling, losing the ability to rationalize, concentrate, and understand what is being said, having difficulty following the storyline of even the simplest movie, do crossword puzzles, or remembering how to play her favorite games (like Rummy and Scrabble), losing control of her body functions and, thus, not being able to go to church (This was a crushing blow and the "last straw" I believe; She thrived on the love and hugs of her church family. They even nicknamed her "Nita Hug" for "need a Hug"), facing the fact that pancreatic cancer was a possibility, enduring unending back pain for at least a month ( although Alzheimer's proved to be a blessing in this since she did not remember it from the day before - It was a new discovery each day), not knowing why but feeling safest when she sat in her chair in her room ( This was so out of character for my mother who was very much a "people person"), not having the energy to even get up and walk a few steps to the bathroom ... just wanting to sleep....

It all started about one and one-half years ago ...

My Mother ... as a result of breaking her hip in February 2004 ... was clearly diagnosed with Alzhiemer's (Although you dare not try to tell her that!) and sent to a Nursing Home for rehabilitation and orders that she should never live alone again. The medical panel that met with us on her dismissal from the hospital were shocked that she was still being allowed to drive her car, let alone live by herself. My husband and I were in denial and kept her apartment for 2 months hoping she could one day return to it but in the days that followed our eyes were opened to the truth of what they told us. It was like dealing with a death as I had to give her dog away, sell her car and clean out her apartment. I struggled with guilt the entire year even though I knew that I had no choice in the matter ... that I was doing what was safest and best for her. We would take her to church each Sunday and our church family were so good, understanding and loving to her even to the end. My husband's family took her in as one of their own at family holiday gatherings and touched her heart with their love more that they will ever know. Without the Lord I am sure I would have had an emotional breakdown ... I know I was so close so many times. But He carried me through this year and when the time came I had no idea she was so close to death. Looking back I see the signs were clear but no one told me of their suspicions of the limited time she had left and I blindly pretended all was well even though my husband would gently try to let me know she was going "downhill" and we should tell our children. I kept my children informed of her condition (as much as I was willing to admit it as it was) but I never dreamed that when I visited her that last night (Monday, July 6th, 2005) that I would get a call a couple hours later that they could not get a pulse ... I'll save that story for another entry. This one is long enough. But I still praise my Lord for the "peace that passes all understanding" that He continues to place in my heart knowing that Mom is now able to walk, talk, laugh and enjoy new life with Him!

2005-07-18T11:33:00.000-07:00

Ever since I began reading my son's and daughter-in-law's blogs, I have desired to "join the ranks" and today (with my husband's help), I DID IT! I love to journal and I feel this will be a great adventure for me.

We just returned from the White Mountains yesterday and I have been busily unpacking and reorganizing my home. I had to have a break so I sat down to read our kid's blogs to see how life is going for them with their new little one.

It is so exciting being a grandma! It has been an awesome experience with our first (who will soon be 3) and I am so excited to have had two more born this spring/summer. It is so amazing to see my own "little ones" all grown up and taking on the roles of a mommy and a daddy. I am so proud of them and their spouses.

Living three hours away from my grandchildren has its benefits and its disadvantages. I often hear of grandparents all worn out because their children use them as a daily, full time babysitting service (most often FREE) so that they can work with no extra expense. On one hand, I envy those grandparents in being able to play a major role in the upbringing of their grandchildren, seeing them regularly ... being able to watch them grow and mature both physically, mentally, socially, and spiritually. They will be able to "be there" for all of their grandchildren's firsts ... from their first tooth to their first date and all that comes before, between and after those events. They also have the joy of being near their own children who brought these grandchildren into the world ... developing a close friendship with them now that they are grown and no longer need the discipline that often deterred the development of such friendship when they were younger and living at home. What a joy it must be to watch your child regularly,, daily, as he/she grows into adulthood, matures, and takes on new roles of life - especially parenthood. On the other hand I feel sorry for those grandparents that they must often be the disciplinarian and cannot just enjoy every moment they have with their grandchildren. When I see my grandchildren, most of the time I do not have the pressures of being the disciplinarian and I can just enjoy watching them explore life, playing with them, cuddling them ... the easier parts of loving a child. We are blessed with children who do a great job of letting my husband and I know that they love us, appreciate us, care for us, miss us, respect us, still need us, and even admire us and are proud that we are their parents. Too often, once a child leaves home and starts his/her own family, they fail to remember their parents who sacrificed so much so that they could have more. Our children have made a special effort to "be there" for us. I am so thankful. It gives me confidence that, even though miles may separate us, they will make sure our grandchildren know who we are and how much we love them. They have the power to make or break our relationship with them and with their children just by their efforts or negligence. Again I praise the Lord for blessing us with children who "go the extra mile" to "bridge the gap" that distance could cause in our relationships.

I feel our children have truly become our FRIENDS. They even ask us for advice sometimes now .... It's funny how parents all of a sudden become "smart" once their children graduate from high school/college and enter the "real world". When we went on vacation and saw our 2 year old granddaughter she "made my day" as she showed sheer joy in seeing me. For so long it was a matter of me having to make all the efforts to build a relationship with her. It is such a joy to see her finally at an age that she reaches out to me and remembers me and our special times together. How blessed I truly am!

Well, I often have been accused of being "Long-winded" ... and that I am! But in an effort not to bore others I will sign off now and write more later. I will close with my favorite verses:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." (Proverbs 3:5,6)

Remember, with every promise God gives us in His Word, there is a premise ... something we must first do to earn that promise! God bless you in your life's journey!